Memes

Oh yes… I have fallen prey to the meme (the quiz type meme’s, not a meme in its true sense) and I am putting them all up in here for prosperity.

If you read them all, you will realise a couple of things. 1) You were WAY more bored than you probably thought you were and 2) my answers change. These memes are done when I find them, so some have been done when I’m pissed off, some have been done when I’m drunk, others have been done when I’m in that “i wanna kiss everyone and call em pooky” kind of mood.

You have been warned…

Munnuh Munnuh

Aug 13, ‘09 8:50 AM

Yes coming to you LIVE… FRESHLY butchered straight from Grainne’s Hideout, it’s… A….. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!!

*cue thunderous applause*

Would you… Bungee Jump?
No. I fear detached retina

Would you… Parachute jump?
I still don’t know why people would want to strap a piece of silk to their back and then jump out of a perfectly well-working aeroplane.

Would you.. Get married?
Yeah. Done it more than once now, but this is definitely the last time =D

Would you.. Go potholing?
I don’t know what this means… I’d rather smoke my pot than put it in a hole.

Would you.. Eat snails?
I have and I don’t like them.

Would you.. Eat frogs legs?
Yup and they really DO taste just like chicken. It’s just unfortunate that all you have running in your head is “WHAT THE FUCK… I’M EATING A FROG!!!!” and you don’t really care that they taste just like chicken because YOU’RE EATING A FROG.

Would you.. Go to a swingers party?
God that is so 1900’s. I need to know if every generation thinks that they invented this ritual.

Would you.. Drive in a car rally?
Have once, but as a passenger in a demo derby. I didn’t do anything, but after it was all done I could barely walk I was so sore and tired. Apparently that’s what happens when you tense up for an extended period of time…

Would you.. Ride a motorbike?
No. I have shitty shitty shitty inner balance due to an ear infection years ago. I’d fall off that suckuh.

Would you.. Go on a blind date?
I most definitely would, but only if Geof-fuh-fuh could come too, with his own blind date.

Would you.. Go on a naturists beach?
Yes and I would wear a Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts and yell a lot while I took pictures with the camera strung around my neck.

Would you.. Indulge in carnal desires.. outside?
Would I fuck outside? Why, SURE I would!

Would you.. Pose naked for an artist or artists?
Yup I would. They could name my class “Examination of the Stretch Mark” with the follow up class called “Cellulite Can Be Sexy”.

Would you.. Entertain an audience on a stage?
I have and I didn’t mean to. I’ve sung Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door onstage but at the time I was extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely drunk and all I could mutter was “knock knock knockin’ on heaven’s door” over and over and over and over. It was not pretty.

How old were you when you got your first kiss?
Aaaaah young love. His name was Simon and he was fair of face and hair with eyes of brown. Oh how I loved Simon. I constantly hugged him and he was always always always holding my hand and helping me into seats. Sigh…. we were 4, and it was behind the sheets hanging on mum’s washing line.

Have you ever shop-lifted from any store?
No I haven’t, because I’m always scared of being caught. My sister shoplifted something once, and the guilt got to her so she went back the next day to put it back and she got caught putting it back. She didn’t even tell us about it until just a couple of years ago and she was 7 at the time.

Do you believe in Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster?
Yeah I do. The jury’s still out about Big Foot, but I don’t find the notion that there might be a very old dinosaur living underwater very unusual at all.

Have you ever traveled out of the country?
No, but that is to change very very soon!

If you were President what would be the first hing you would fix?
The word “thing” in this question.

Have you ever swam in the buff?
You mean there are enough people out there who haven’t to warrant this question?

Have you ever cheated in school on a test?
Nope. I seemed to do really well in tests when I put my mind to it, so it’s not something that ever worried me where I felt the need to cheat anyway.

What is your favorite food?
I love Mexican dishes like the tacos and the nachos and the burritos and the fajitahs and the margaritas.

Ever kicked an animal? including any pets you have or had
Only living being I ever kicked was my sister, and I ended up with a fractured foot for my trouble.

If you had a million dollars what would be the first thing you would buy?
A pack of gum. Then I’d buy a lear jet.

Do you have any phobias?
I guess I do. I don’t like anything at all to do with eyes. Does that count?

Ever tooted in public?
Sure have. I’m an expert at Supermarket Stealth Farting. I can be in the next aisle parallel to the previous drop zone and hear people gasp as they walk through it.

What would be your last meal?
Probably nothing. I have a nervous stomach and I wouldn’t be able to eat anything because of it.

Ever broken the law (not including speeding or a parking ticket)?
Oh sure. All the time. If you read my stuff in here, I’m sure you can all think of two laws I break with alarming regularity.

What T.V. game show would you like to be on?
Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader. So far, I’m just as smart as those little fuckers.

Who do you think is the most evil person in the world right now (alive)
Well I’m not one to toot ones own horn, but I’d have to say me.

Are you happy with your body?
Sure. I own it clean and clear and I got more than I paid for!

Do you believe in God?
No. Will I go to hell for that?

Was this a stupid survey?
It was pretty damn good right up till this question. Hope that helps.

I dunno…

Jul 7, ‘09 8:24 PM

Work was insane today. I am now known as the nazi, and for all those aussies out there who go to Centrelink, yanno that person on the reception desk that tells you nicely to fuck off because there are too many people that are already waiting to be seen? THAT’S ME!!!!1111one!!!!

Anywho… to the meme machine!!!

1) My ex is: my best friend

2) I should learn to : make fart noises with my armpits. One can never have enough talents.

3) I love : everything Julie Andrews mentions in the song My Favourite Things. I also love Geof, the girls and world peace.

4) People would say that I am: fucking crazy, and they smile when they say it, so I smile back – with my teeth bared.

5) I don’t understand: the concept of religion. I think all religious people are crazy. This opinion also extends to my parents and sister.

6) When I wake up in the morning: I fart on Geof’s back to wake him up. If he’s facing me while sleeping, then I fart on his balls. Oh please… like none of you have never played fart games.

7) I lost: my sanity. For realz.

Life is: a box of chocolates. You think it’s really sweet that you’ve been handed this fine box, then you realise some bastid went through it and took all the yummy ones out and left bitemarks in the others.

9) My past taught me: that history really DOES repeat itself!

10) I get annoyed: by stupidity. People think they can get away with the stupidest shit, and I’m amazed that they think they can.

11) Party: like it’s 1899!

12) I wish: the whole planet would blow up. I seriously think I’m done on this planet. I need to move on.

13) Cats and Dogs: really do get along. So do birds and rats (with dogs and cats I mean). I don’t know if birds and rats get on regularly. I’ve not wondered enough to find out.

14) My childhood pet: was introduced to everyone as my “brother”. My older brother was a fucking cat.

15) Tomorrow: is a terrible song sung on that horrible show.

16) I have a low tolerance for: other people’s kids.

18) I’m terrified of: old people intent on getting a kiss. Those puckered up faces looming in on me will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

19) I’ve come to realize: I’m better off not taking too much too seriously

20) I am listening to : the hum of my computer and the conversation of my kitten Anubis. He’s a mouthy lil fuckuh

21) I talk: to everyone. I can’t help myself.

22) My best friend: is an annoying bastid, but I love him to death.

23) My first kiss: went for three fucking hours. We were both new at it and didn’t know how (or when) to stop.

24) Love is: heaven to the lonely.

25) Marriage is: a whole lot of fun and very fulfilling. Finally…

26) Somewhere, someone is: carving my name into a bullet.

27) I’ll always be: stubborn and a grudge bearer. It’s part of my charm

28) The last time I really cried: was when Cheyenne went missing.

29) My cell phone: is a figment of everyone’s imagination. I loathe the things.

30) Before I go to bed : I bounce on the bed and sing the “I’m going to bed now” song to Geof-fuh-fuh

31) My middle name is : Leanne. Pretty boring, huh!

32) Right now, I am thinking: that I want a cigarette and I need to scratch the inside of my ear cos it’s itching and I don’t know what to do first. Decisions decisions. whoops too late I just scratched my ear!

33) Today I : settle in for the quiet moments before dinner time. I can’t wait for bed!!!

34) Tomorrow I : go to work and listen to the dulcet tones of the multitudes while they whine and give me their life story.

35) I really want to: poke out someone’s eyeballs with a rusty spork. Okay… I don’t now.

36) The person most likely to re-post this : Fight amongst yourselves.

37) The person least likely to re-post this: Once again, fight amongst yourselves.

38) My relationship with my parents: is grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat. You know you’re a grown up when you share sex jokes with them.

39) My most treasured possession is: my vibrator. No one makes me smile like Rupert does.

40) My favorite pictures: are on my hard drive. I love digital cameras and scanners.

41) I sing: everywhere. In the shower, in the car, on the train, probably on planes. In the kitchen, in the bath, in the bed and on the footpath. Just not in front of anyone…

42) If I were a crayon : I’d be powerful puke-a-licious purple with sparkly bits and STARS and confetti would come rushing outta my ass end every time I was put to use.

43) Someday I want to travel : and I will in September. To Bali. No children. No one is allowed to use the word “mum” (or mom).

44) I am wearing: Well… I just got home from work, so I’m wearing stilettos, black stockings with a seam up the back and a teddy. Or not…

45) My favorite language is : One day I was bored, so I decided to do a few hieroglyphics tutorials and they were kinda fun. Just a damn pity I can’t draw, so I’ll stick with what I know and say English.

46) It hurts: When you slam a hammer onto your thumb.

47) I am going to miss: you all when I’m famous.

48) My profile picture: is not my eye. It’s also not my planet, not my tears and oddly, not my eyeliner.

49) I need: a good psychiatrist.

Nothing Much…

Jun 22, ‘09 11:43 PM

That’s what’s going on in the ole Deb household. Fucking zilcho.

I’m just blogging in here for the sake of blogging. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve been in here.

I’m going to bore you all with a meme. I found it on my hard drive all blank and unloved, so I filled it out.

01. What’s your name?
Deb, Deborah, Debbie Lee, Debosophy, Honey, Babe and Sexy. I also answer to “hey you”.

02. How was your name chosen for you?
I honestly don’t know. I know I came close to being named Gertrude, so whatever the reason is for mum and dad changing their minds, I am grateful…

03. How old are you?
41 in July

04. How do you feel about your age?
Pretty darn okay in all honesty. I have wrinkles but I found out I’m just not that worried about them to do anything about them, so I’m aging gracefully inevitably

05. Is there anything you’d like to do over again?
My schooling years, so I could walk out brilliant but with proof

06. How tall are you?
5′11″. Statuesque, or as my dad says it, “Sasquatchesque”

07. What are pros and cons for your height?
The good thing is I don’t have to ask for help when the items I want are on the top of the supermarket shelves.
The bad thing is I often find myself helping out short people shopping at supermarkets, and I used to hate being taller than all the boys at school.

08. What country do you live in?
Australia, mate.

09. Do you like it there?
Actually, yes, I do. I love the lifestyle and the clean air and the fact that most people here have a decent sense of humour and the good sense to keep their noses out of shit that doesn’t pertain to them – which is most of the rest of the world…

10. Do you work, go to school, or stay home?
I work. I used to think that staying at home was fun, but now that I get to talk to grown ups during the day, I’ve changed my mind.

11. What do you like most about it (home, school or work, that is)?
Talking to grown ups, getting paid, not being addicted to oprah and dr phil.

12. What did you have for dinner last night?
Ummmm steak and vegetables with hash browns. I know hash browns are a vegetable, but it’s not potato-like potato, so eh.

13. If it was home-cooked, was it you who prepared it or someone else?
It was Geof-fuh-fuh’s turn to cook and can I just say he’s fucking brilliant at it.

14. Do you use public transport?
Occasionally, yes. The train system here is outstanding and it’s safe and clean. Also cheaper than taking the car.

15. If you do, how much is the fare from your home to your destination?
$1.40. Ticket lasts for 2 hours.

16. What are you thinking about right now?
Blankets, care bears and cigarettes. I don’t know how they all tie in together, but it made perfect sense right up until I typed it.

17. What colour is your keyboard?
It’s black. I like all my computer accesories etc, to be black. I don’t know why this is so.

18. Are any of the letters on the keys faded from being used so much?
They used to be. For ages there I had no “m”, “g”, “h” “e” or “t” and it was a damn good thing that I could touch type. Now, I have a new keyboard

19. What are your favourite colour/s and why?
My favourite colours are green and blue and the reason why I like them is because they remind me of the ocean and I luuuuuuuuuuuurve the ocean.

20. If you could eat anything you wanted, what would it be?
Politicians, and I would keep eating them till there were none left. Then I’d move onto tacos, burritos and indian curry.

21. What sort of car do you drive?
I don’t drive any car, but we have a Pajero 4 wheel drive and a station wagon something or other.

22. What are your favourite movies?
Starship Troopers, Star Wars 4 5 and 6, LotR, Confessions of a Shopaholic, The Green Mile, Spiderman movies, Flash Gordon, that movie that they made about Archie, Betty and Veronica that I can’t remember the name of but Jughead rapping Candy Girl with his son was AWESOME.

23. Do you like butter, cheese, caramel, salt or icing sugar on your popcorn?
I love butter and salt on my popcorn. The only other popcorn I like is Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs and I think there’s caramel on that popcorn. I don’t like sweet stuff but that shit is delicious.

24. What do you have in your bedroom?
Everything except a fridge. Really, I do. Cart in a microwave and a fridge and I’d never have to leave my room. Ever.

25. What are you currently reading?
I’m not reading anything at the moment – which is shocking… I just finished reading Ken Follett’s Lie Down With Lions and Frank Herbert’s Lair. I usually read two or three books at once and I happened to finish both books on the same day. I don’t know what I’m reading next. It’s a surprise…

26. Who are your favourite authors?
Stephen King, Richard Layman, Piers Anthony and Isaac Asimov. I did enjoy Stephanie Meyers (sp???) Twilight series. Oh and I like Anne Bishop, Sara Douglass and Traci Harding, too.

27. Did you know that the Andromeda Galaxy and the Milky Way are travelling towards each other at an average rate of 75 miles per second?
Yes, I did know that. Isn’t it exciting? It’s a damn shame I won’t be around to see what happens actually, because I think it would be fascinating to be around for that little shindig…

28. How do you feel knowing that there’s a possibility that our entire solar system could be sucked down into a black hole whose mass is 30 million times greater than our sun?
I can’t wait for the human race to be sucked down into a black hole. Parasites, the lot of you… We don’t actually REALLY know what happens in a black hole, maybe we just tumble out the bottom of the black hole and end up in another galaxy where the entire human race will fall into their “why are we here?” holding pattern – still ignorant.

29. Do you believe in life on other planets?
Yup I do. With all those planets out there, and us just being a humble meat sac like all the other animals on this planet, there’s every possibility that there’s more out there than we can imagine.

30. If yes, what do you expect is out there – if no, why do you think nothing else is out there?
Just other life. Beings that do things and eat things and sleep and “be”. In my dreams, there’s a planet out there where everyone looks like Will Smith and they abduct me and use me as a sex slave (don’t tell Geof).

31. Do you think that the secrets to the universe are, in fact, found on Earth?
I think that SOME secrets to the universe are found on Earth. I also think there’s some secrets on all the other planets in all the other galaxies, too.

32. Do you think that people spend way too much time worrying about the fate of the earth due to greenhouse gases, etc? Or not enough?
Fuck yes people spend way too much time on this. Earth is just going through the motions and while it’s entertaining watching people en masse throw their hands up in the air and run about like chickens with their heads cut off, it’s also a waste of time and fucken annoying.

33. Are you a believer of Creationism or Evolution?
Evolution, baby.

34. If you were boring and just put down Creationism or Evolution, would you care to elaborate on your answer here?
While the I Dream of Jeannie concept is funny, it also looks highly inaccurate. I find it amusing (on many, many levels) that people will believe that a celestial being made us, but they can watch a documentary where you see evidence of animals evolving on Earth yet don’t apply those same rules to themselves.

35. What are some of your favourite television programs?
Dexter, Pushing Daisies, South Park, Life on Mars, Jericho, Reaper, Heroes and now Nurse Jackie.

36. Are there any songs or musical artists that you’re currently into?
No, not really. I like a little of everything so it’s hard to pinpoint just a few artists or songs.

37. Why do you like the music you like?
Because it reflects the mood I’m in, which is usually upbeat. I also like to daydream that I’m a Solid Gold dancer and I’m busting my moves in front of millions.

38. Do you pee in the shower?
I did once. I was pregnant with Caris and I was in the shower and moving fast was soooooooooooooo out of the question so I went in the shower. I swear to god I could smell pee the whole time I was in there and I had to Domestos and scrub afterwards because it was all I could think about. Guilt is an interesting exercise.

39. Do you wash your hands every time after you’ve gone to the bathroom?
Yeah I do. I couldn’t imagine NOT washing my hands.

40. In public bathrooms, do you worry or think about the fact that the person before you probably didn’t wash their hands and now their germs are all over the door handle?
Yes. It’s why I open the door with a paper towel in my hands and then drop the paper towel into the first bin I walk past.

41. When it comes to toilet paper, are you a folder or a scruncher?
I’m a folder. Four sheets, folded in half, and then folded in half again till it’s one square.

42. Have you ever wiped your ass and had your finger tear through the paper as you wiped?
Yes, and that is why I use four sheets, folded in half, and then folded in half again

43. Do you use the half flush option to conserve water, or do you always use the full flush option?
I always use the full flush. If I wanted to walk away from the toilet with toilet paper still in the bowl, I’d just spit in there and cross my fingers.

44. Do you think that the author of these questions has way too much time on their hands?
Yes, so does the person answering the questions.

45. Do you have a partner?
I have a few partners. For instance, I have a partner in love and I have a partner in crime.

46. If you do, describe them in fifty (50) words or less. If you don’t, just make something up.
My partner in love is my husband Geof-fuh-fuh who is thoughtful, loving and kind who thinks of ways to make me smile and please me. My partner in crime is my best friend Jack who is diabolical and probably a serial killer in a former life who thinks of ways to piss me off and question my sanity. I’d be bereft if I lost either of them.

47. What do you look for in a partner?
Eyes, nose, teeth. All mod cons. Sense of humour is a necessity, and a sound knowledge of dealing with crazy people is a definite must. Patience and the ability to turn a blind eye to occasional seriously weird shit is also essential.

48. What is your definition of love?
Don’t really have one. I have a live and let live philosophy and that usually allows me to co-exist with loved ones. I think of love as sharing your life and intimate moments with a special someone and appreciating their qualities and quirks. Never really thought much about it, in all honesty.

49. What is your definition of cheating in a relationship?
I don’t really have one. I know what I would and wouldn’t do in a relationship and I guess rather than lay down rules, I just think “would I like it if Geof did this to me?” and if the answer is “no”, then I wouldn’t do it.

50. Describe a perfect night out.
A lovely warm bubble bath followed with laying in bed with Geof. I don’t ask for much

51. What’s worse on/for a woman, first thing in the morning… Bed head and panda eyes OR morning breath?
Morning breath will always be the worst. Ugh…

52. What’s worse on/for a man, first thing in the morning… Beard stubble and sleep in the eyes OR a hard on?
I find all these things extremely attractive. There is no worse…

53. How long have you been a member of Multiply?
Almost two years now. I think…

54. Do you just have the one multiply account, or are there more?
Just this one. When I think of all the sites I used to have, I wonder how I ever kept up with myself!

55. Do you have any pets?
I currently have one dog, eleven cats and three rats. We’re getting another rabbit soon. Sigh…

56. What do you think of people who have tarantulas as pets and would you consider having one yourself?
Hmmm… it’s an interesting choice but not for me. I used to have axolotls and yabbies as pets but touching fish always freaked me out and the yabbies had big ass claws and googly eyes. I promised myself I’d never get another pet I knew I was never going to touch, and tarantulas fall into this category.

57. Do you ever ponder life’s mysteries, like ‘how come glue doesn’t stick to the inside of its own tube?’ etc?
Occasionally I do, but I don’t think my brain works right. I never seem to ask myself the “right” questions. I don’t ponder stuff as much as I probably should.

58. What pages do you regularly visit on the internet when surfing?
Here, Misfitopia, Neopets, Alien Loves Predator, some news sites…

59. What really gets your blood boiling?
Summer…

60. If you were God, what would you change?
If there is such a thing as god, I would not make myself out to be a big ass mystery.

61. How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
Because if you stand near the emergency exit, people think something bad is happening or about to happen and they’d want to escape first, because people are suspicious and selfish by nature.

62. Why are both of Spongebob’s parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
I don’t watch enough Spongebob to even know what his parents look like. Maybe his mother fucked a brick.

63. Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
I really don’t know. Maybe this is onother of those things I should have pondered at some point in my life.

64. If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
They should, especially if they’ve broken down the wrong door. I’d be pissed off if the FBI broke my door down, only to find they should have raided the neighbour’s house.

65. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
I have tried this, and no, it doesn’t.

66. Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
Because everyone thinks their information is more valuable if it’s handed out when it’s not wanted.

67. Can you cry underwater?
When I’m swimming, I’m never sad so I don’t know. Ariel the mermaid has cried underwater, so maybe you can.

68. If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
I… don’t know… How would we find out? MEDIC!!!!

69. If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant, do they have to wear hairnets?
Don’t they just wear those dicky poofy white hats that look a little like an over-inflated muffin?

70. Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :’Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
The same reason why they have warning labels on hair dryers about dryers and bath tubs filled with water; and not putting power tools anywhere near your face – because the world is full of retards.

71. If there’s a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called “stand-up”?
I… don’t think I’ve ever seen a comedian in a wheelchair, but if I ever do, I’ll ask.

72. When the French swear do they say pardon my English?
Even when the French cuss, it sounds romantic. Fuckers…

73. Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?
I DON’T KNOW!!!! I asked Geof about this and he went into this whole spiel about deaf people and what they think and it ended up as “blah blah blah deb’s really not that interested in knowing and the answer isn’t funny switch off now”.

74. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
I’ve done this, and I don’t know why I do it. It could be that I’m thinking about what to make of the stuff I have in the fridge and I need to keep rechecking because I’m disorganised…

75. Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
This annoys me. Is it THAT hard to get different coloured bubbles? I would have SO MUCH FUN in the tub if I could get multi coloured bubbles.

76. Why are the adjectives ‘fast as’ and ’slow as’ often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?
I actually use “fast as fuck” or “slow as fuck” and we all know you can fuck at both speeds.

77. Why are red buttons always the most important?
Once again, I don’t know. Red has always been a kind of “look at me” colour. It’s hard to miss…

78. Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?
Either way, it’s fucking gross. I dislike all things saliva related, except for kissing and other sexual related matters. Normal day-to-day saliva is ugh.

79. If a hermaphrodite breaks the law, do they get sent to a men’s prison or a women’s prison?
Geof and I launched into a huge discussion about this and we came to the conclusion that we don’t know. Is solitary confinement an option? A hermaphrodite would probably die in a men’s prison, so we thought it more logical to have a hermaphrodite in solitary confinement in a women’s prison, or maybe have a hermaphrodite prison where only hermaphrodites could be incarcerated. You’d only need like… 20 rooms max. Right?

80. Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?
Because they’re all trying to sound old and wise. I dunno.

81. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
It’s all to do with rebirth and stuff. Just hand over the chocolate and don’t dwell so much on the hard shit.

82. If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
I always thought it was because of the bits of plastic inside the glass marble having like a marble-y effect, but I think that’s bullshit. Maybe original marbles were made of marble?

83. If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up?
I think you’d be dead before you got anywhere near the centre of the earth, let alone come out the other side, but I imagine you would find yourself sorely disappointed and still standing the right way up.

84. If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn’t good on mashed potatoes?
Ketchup sucks on everything except meat pies. It has no business being on food that doesn’t need to be disguised with an acidic tomato like sauce.

85. Where do all the daylight savings hours go?
Who fucking knows? Ask a politician.

86. Why doesn’t the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
I think it’s got something to do with your DNA or your genes or some shit. Given a choice, I would nix the arm hair idea. It was probably lovely before the invention of clothes and we needed to keep warm (and we had more of it, the hair I mean) but now it’s a waste of time. I mean… it’s not like I think “wow it’s freezing outside. Thank god for my ARM HAIR”

87. Why when people ask you “what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?” no one ever replies, “A BOAT”?
Because we’re all too busy thinking about our partners, books, computers, music and vibrators.

88. Why are elderly people often called “old people” but children are never called “new people”?
Because the description “blood sucking, life debilitating leeches” sounded more accurate.

89. How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk?
I know for me, it’s nerves. I hate singing in front of people, even though I was an active member of my school’s choir and I was good enough to sing solo.

90. If drinking and driving is illegal, why do bars have parking lots?
So that drunk people have a safe area to fuck and fight in.

91. If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
This is an interesting question. What are the laws on land ownership and is it only above the ground or below it, too?

92. Can you slam a revolving door?
You can go through the motions, but all you’ll be left with is several door revolutions and no satisfactory bang at the end.

93. Why does it say “shake well” on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?
…
I… don’t know. Maybe because you only have to exert just a teeny tiny bit of pressure on packets and it’s erupts from the packet like excess milk from a 4 week old baby?

94. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
It used to be mattresses weren’t even able to be bought on some public holidays, but now I’d have to say “no. They’re eternally on sale”.

95. Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?
Why would you wanna eat a mermaid?

96. Why is it called the People’s Republic Of China when China isn’t a republic?
I dunno. Why is it called the United States of America when there are States that aren’t united in anything at all?

97. If you only have one eye, are you blinking or winking?
Next time I see a cyclops, I’ll ask.

98. Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn’t it called adultnapped??
Because saying someone was “adult-napped” sounds lame and picky, like saying chairperson or person-hole.

99. Why do blacklights look purple?
A black light gives off ultraviolet light. It looks purple, but the ultraviolet rays being emitted from the bulb are invisible. In the case of an inexpensive incandescent bulb, the rays are actually being given off by the paint on the bulb; fluorescent black lights (more expensive) generate UV light from the gas inside.
I got that from Yahoo answers, so it’s probably wrong.

The Alphabet Quiz

Apr 2, ‘09 1:50 PM

Stolen from… almost everyone.

A – Age: 21 and 79 quarters.

B – Bed size: Queen size

C – Chore you hate: Cleaning the fridge. Someone should outlaw “leftovers”…

D – Dog’s names: Bronnie

E – Essential to start your day time: Cigarettes and coca cola.

F – Favorite color: Dark blue

G – Gold or Silver: Either or. I look FABulous in both… heh

H – Height: 5′11″

I – Instruments you play: Skin flute

J – Job titles: Mommy, Office Administrator, Wife…

K – Kid(s): 3 little bitches.

L – Living arrangements: Me, Geof, the girls, a million animals

M – Mom’s name: Mum

N – Nicknames: Tons. I’ve had “rabbit” since birth. Apparently, to my dad, I looked like a skinned rabbit – long, skinny and covered in gook. Now I just fuck like one.

O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Not including births, I was in overnight when I had my tonsils taken out. I’ll pretty much do anything to avoid hospitals as I hate them. Mum took me out the next day, after my tonsils were removed because I couldn’t sleep in the ward.

P – Pet Peeve: Assholes who use me. Leaving the toilet seat up. If I’m in the mood, just someone else breathing near me can piss me off.

Q – Quote from a movie: “This means something…” – Close Encounters of the Third Kind (a virtual cookie to anyone who can tell me WHEN this is said)

R – Right or left handed: Right

S – Siblings: One sister, two years younger than me.

T – Time you wake up: About 5.30 am-ish… I was waking up at 4.30am during daylight savings time, which I fucken hated because I’d look at the time and think “this is ridiculous” and go sleep again and it would mess me around.

U- Underwear: Try to avoid it… and for the record, I hate the word “panties”. It sounds obscene and retarded. I’m pretty sure a man must have thought of it to help him get his rocks off.

V – Vegetable you dislike: Okra. I love every vegetable in the world other than that one. I liked it right up till the time I cut one open (I used to eat them whole or just bite into it and not pay attention) and it looked like seeds in snot. Yuk.

W – Ways you run late: Well yesterday, I was stuck in a train that had broken down just before it had reached the platform and I had to sit there for a half hour, but I have a variety of excuses and reasons because I’m highly disorganised.

X – X-rays you’ve had: Ummm… For my foot. I ended up with a fracture in there, but I was pretty lucky as a kid. Nothing broken… yet.

Y – Yummy food you make: Everything. I’m gifted. Two weeks ago I tried my hand at a vegetarian lasagne as the person invited over was vegetarian and everyone had two to three helpings, even though I had no fucking idea how to make one.

Z – Zoo favorite: All of em. I could spend all day in a zoo and not get bored, but I guess my ultimate favourite is the massive crocodile they have at the zoo near us. It’s a monstuh!!!!

I’m Not Sure I Had Sexual Relations with THAT Woman

Mar 30, ‘09 6:06 AM

Yoinked from Erin.

1. Have you met anyone in your friends list? I’m trying to think of who is on my friend’s list…

2. Are you attracted to anyone in your friend’s list? Yes.

3. Have you ever had sex with anyone in your friends list. Yeah, and I married him.

4. Do you love someone on your friends list? See answer to question 3.

5. Could you list all of the people you have had sexual intercourse with? Only if I can call them “that girl/guy at the….”. I went through a slut stage (as a young adult) that, even now, boggles my mind.

6. Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? Hmmm no, and it was one place I never thought of doing it…

7. Sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? I’m married with 3 kids. If I stopped long enough to look at my watch, the opportunity would probably be over.

8. What side of the bed do you sleep on? The middle. Geof and I sleep in the middle.

9. Do you sleep with clothes on, PJs, or in the nude? Nude.

10. On top or bottom? Top. It’s ummm… better for Geof’s back. For realz…

11. In the bedroom, do you prefer to take the initiative / control or would you rather your partner do it? Both.

12. Foreplay or just go to the main event? Depends on the mood we’re in, but I prefer it.

13. Fast or slow? Depends on the mood again. Were these questions done by someone who only goes on one speed setting or something?

14. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? No, but I had someone offer $300 for me to blow them.

15. Shower or bath? Both. I shower all the time, but sometimes I’ll soak in the tub too.

16. Are you aggressive or passive in bed? I like to think of myself as a passive aggressive…

17. Love or money? Money. I can’t control love so I figure that’ll just happen anyway

18. What is the weirdest place you have had sex? Under a staircase at a pub, in a building that was in the process of being constructed (it later became Westpac bank in Belmont Forum), the Whispering Wall at Kings Park… Uhhhh… lot of places actually.

19. Have you ever had sex with someone you wish you hadn’t? Oh tons of time! I couldn’t count how many times I hit on someone thinking they’d be excellent in bed and they were blah.

20. Kissed someone of the same sex? Yup

21. Ever desired someone of the same sex? Sure have. Had to giggle at Erin’s answer to this.

22. Had sex in a movie theater? Yup

23. Had sex in a car? Yup

24. Had sex in a bathroom? Yup

25. Have you ever had sex at work? Yup. I’d love to answer nope to something…

26. Would you ever play strip poker? Yay!!! Nope! I can’t play poker so one night when the game was brought out, I went to the table naked. Figured I’d save my opponent the trouble of actually playing…

27. Have you ever been in an “adult” store? Yeah tons of times. I still remember the first time I went in one and still giggle because I was fascinated.

28. Bought something from an adult store? Yeah. It’s where I get my vibes from.

29. Have you ever been videotaped having sex? Yup and I’ve been on webcam, too

30. Does anyone have pictures of you naked? Yes. Even people that I didn’t want getting them…

31. Have you been caught having sex? Yes. By my mother and when Geof and I first got serious, we had a taxi driver watching us. It freaked Geof out a little, but I waved and pulled a face.

32. Who do you think has the guts to re-post this? Everyone with a sense of humour.

Obama Survey

Jan 21, ‘09 7:59 AM

Stole this off Brent’s site and seeing as there were questions on it that have not been asked before, I thought “what the hell…”

How many keys are on your key chain? I am notorious for losing keys, so Geof is “keeper of the keys”. He even has the spare key to my sister’s house on his chain.

If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint? A jungle next to the beach.

What do you regard as the most repulsive form of music? Polka, death metal and rap.

Whose mind, besides your own, would you like to control? Everyone’s. If I had the power to do that, I’d make you all unwilling pawns muah hahahaha.

What is the first thing you do when you get out of bed? Stand up. It might not sound like much, but some mornings this is a monumental effort.

What do you consider the greatest threat to mankind? Mankind.

If you could project yourself into the past, where would you go? 1BC. It’s time all those stupid rumours were put to rest, and I think I’m the one to do it.

What are you thankful you are not doing right now? I’m at work, so the only answer to this question is “I’m not cleaning toilets with my tongue, and I am thankful”.

What is your favorite kind of candy? Not much of a candy person, but I get the odd urge to eat Cadbury chocolate – any flavour, so long as it’s Cadbury.

If you were invisible, where would you go? Everywhere.

What is one object in your home that you are embarrassed to own? There is nothing in my home that embarrasses me, other than my children. Unfortunately, I can’t toss them out.

Fill in the blank; When I dance, I look like I would be better off sitting down

What song do you keep hearing over and over again? Is this an earworm thing? I don’t hear a lot of songs over and over because I refuse to listen to the radio. I download what I want and I’ve got to the point where I can go 5 months without hearing the same song twice.

What is your favorite piece of clothing that you own? My wedding dress.

Which ocean creature fascinates you most? Sharks. I get to swim with them when I’m on the beach and I think they’ve been misrepresented and misunderstood.

On a scale of 1-10; how religious are you? With 10 being the most religious, I would put myself at negative 47.

What color looks best on you? Apparently pink, but I hate the colour. As long as it’s not yellow or orange, I’m good to go

What is your favorite thing about being sick? It used to be that the best part about being sick was getting cuddles from my mum, but now I’m a mum myself and no one cares about me so nuffin.

Whats new? The wrinkle I found in my forehead.

What was your favorite meal growing up? As a child, I was a walking trash can, so every meal was my favourite meal.

What one person or thing reminds you of the 80s? Madonna

What body part aches you the most right now? My right hip

What do you waste your time doing? Breathing. Just like everyone else.

On a scale of 1-10; how much do you trust people? I used to be a 10, now I’m a 4 with leanings toward 3.

On a scale of 1-10; how photogenic are you? I’ve been told by family members that I’m very photogenic, but when I look at pics of myself, all I see if a fat, old woman.

What is your greatest addiction? Smoking.

If you were a professional wrestler, what would your ring name be? Debosaurus Rex

What language would you like to master? Sign Language for the Deaf

What is your favorite dish at a Chinese restaurant? Beef in black bean.

What is the longest you have ever gone without a shower? When I would go camping, but I’d bathe in the stream instead. I can’t not be clean.

What time do you usually fall asleep? Anytime, I fall asleep when I’m tired.

What hobby have you always wanted to pick up? Armpit hair macrame, ancient torture techniques using bamboo and whistling like Sonny in the television series Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. I can’t get the hang of the gumleaf.

Uninspired…

Jan 12, ‘09 9:20 AM

I yoinked this from some ole chick because I haven’t blogged in ages and I really don’t have all that much to say, so this is the update.

Sorry…

What is on your bed right now? My sheets and a blanket. Probably a cat, if I’ve locked one in my room…

When was the last time you threw up? Saturday night. I went across the road for drinks, got home seriously shit faced and power-puked all over my nice clean bathroom. I was puking and cleaning at the same time… Sad.

What’s your favorite word or phrase? Suffering assholes

Name 3 people who made you smile today? Geof, Cheyenne and Caris

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sitting at my work desk

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Still sitting at my work desk, seeing as 30 minutes ago, it was 8.15am

What is your favorite holiday? I don’t have a favourite holiday.

Have you ever been to another country? Not yet.

What is the last thing you said aloud? “Yup, no worries.”

What is the best ice cream flavor? Chocolate chip mint

What was the last thing you had to drink? Coca cola (cos I’m drinking it right now)

What are you wearing right now? 3/4 pants, black shirt with some aztec design stitched on the front, sandals.

What was the last thing you ate? Geof-fuh-fuh

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope.

When was the last time you ran? When Cheyenne sliced her leg open on a broken piece of mirror. All that blood pouring out scared the shit outta me.

What’s the last sporting event you watched? Oh jeez. I don’t make it a habit to watch sport so I couldn’t even tell you the last one I watched.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Egypt or Africa

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace? Don’t use MySpace since my account was deleted

Ever go camping? Yup. I love it – especially when I can take a generator, microwave and small television.

Do you have a tan? Sure do. It’s summer in Australia, so it can’t be helped.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? Yes and no. I dropped some change into the toilet and it was still there after I flushed, so I threw some Domestos into the toilet and waited, then flushed again and took the change out.

What is your guilty pleasure? I like to soak in a tub with mountains of bubbles and yummy smelling things, with a bottle of wine, my cigarettes and a good book.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? Yes. I never used to, but some people online take things that I say the wrong way, so I put a smiley face on it so that they know I’m not pissy with them.

Do you drink your soda from a straw? Occasionally. If I have one, I usually use it.

What did your last text message say? I honestly can’t remember. I was forced to buy a phone in 2007 and that lasted all of 3 months. It’s been a paperweight in the bottom of my bag for months and months now…

Are you someone’s best friend? Yup I am. Some people say I’m their best friend, but what they mean is I’m their friend when their other friends aren’t around.

What are you doing tomorrow? Working. My life is fun!!!

Where is your mom right now? She’s probably at work, seeing as it’s Monday.

Look to your left, what do you see? Hummmmmmmmmmmm… my desk, some trays, Jim the engineer, business cards and a box of tissues.

What color is your watch? I don’t have a watch. I used to, but I think I lost it (or ate it) and I haven’t replaced it.

What do you think of when you think of Australia? Sun, sand, surf, wide open spaces. Home.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yeah, but no super duper big ones. The State I live in isn’t really into theme parks much as we don’t get the tourism that other States get, which is just the way I like it…

What is your birthstone? Ruby, but I’m trying real hard to change it about so I’m emerald.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Go in.

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate? Why would you have people you hate on your MySpace friends list? That’s just… retarded.

Do you have a dog? Yeah. Her name is Bronnie (Bronwyn) and she’s a staffy crossed with something that’s too damn tall.

Last person you talked to on the phone? Uhhhh… Chris in sales. He called looking for Reg.

Any plans today? Work, work and more work. I’ll go home and work some more.

Are you happy? Yes. I have no complaints.

Where are you right now? At work…

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? My landlord. He’s being an unreasonable wanker and blaming us for our house being broken into. Like I invite criminals in…

Last song listened to? Impressed by Charlie Sexton

Last movie you saw? The Day the Earth Stood Still

Are you allergic to anything? Alcoholic cider and pineapple.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My thongs and I love my ugg boots, but it’s too damn hot for those.

Are you jealous of anyone? No. I’m too busy to think about what others may or may not have that I desire.

Are you married? Yup. It’s been almost 5 months.

Is anyone jealous of you? I honestly don’t know. I don’t think so.

Do any of your friends have children? Hell… Some of the children of my friends have children. We’re at that age, yanno…

Do you eat healthy? Yes and no. I have my bad moments, but for the most part I like to eat healthy – if not for my sake, then for the sake of the kids.

What do you usually do during the day? Work. This is starting to sound a little repetitive…

Do you hate anyone right now? I try not to hate people. To hate someone means you care, and once you’ve pissed me off, I try not to think about it. Ever again.

Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily? Yes. All the damn time.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 41

Have you ever been to Six Flags? No. I just love these quizzes that are geared toward certain countries…

How did u get one of your scars? I won’t tell you about the childbirth ones, so I’ll tell you about my left index finger. I invited my parents and my exhusband’s dad over for dinner (we were still married at the time) and while I was carving the lamb roast, the knife slid through the meat and ended up wedged in my index finger. There was blood everywhere and the only people not screaming were dad and I. I left pretty blood spurt patterns on the ceiling and a couple of walls before I thought to apply pressure to the wound. I had fun that night because I got to slap a doctor and tell a nurse to fuck off and leave me alone.

Brash and bold

Dec 17, ‘08 9:40 AM

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang/played a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Made a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Christmas Yoinkage

Dec 1, ‘08 9:38 AM

I stole this off Some Chick named Erin and I’ve posted it in here.

Ho ho freaken ho!!!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Both. I also use envelopes and cards for book vouchers.

2. Real tree or artificial?
Artificial. My ex-husband went through this stage where he just HAD to go out to a pine forrest and get a real tree. I was the stupid bitch who had to sweep pine needles every fucking three hours and I soon grew tired of it.

After we parted ways, he offered to get me a real tree for Christmas and I responded with “wow… you really DO hate me, don’t you” and he never asked again.

3. When do you put up the tree?
I put my tree up on the 14th of December and I take it down on on the 5th of January.

I do this because of the song “12 days of Christmas”. I can never tell if those 12 days are the 11 days before Christmas and Christmas day or Christmas day and the following 11 days, so basically I’m just hedging my bets.

4. When do you take the tree down?
See answer to question 3.

5. Do you like egg nog?
No because it looks and smells disgusting. But I do love making Christmas punch.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Hmmm… I really don’t know. I never got anything I hated, so everything was my favourite. It might have been my rollerskates. It’s the first thing that came to mind.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
No one. I do my shopping on Christmas Eve so I don’t have the luxury of worrying about “hard” people. Thankfully my family know me well, so no one even notices what they get. They’re just glad I remembered them in the Christmas Eve Shopping Rush (yes, they have a name for what I do)

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Everyone. See reason why in question 7.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
No. If I had one of those my children would decide that it would look better as the dog’s chew toy or something. I’ve wanted to bake a nativity scene after watching Curbed Enthusiasm. “You ATE baby Jesus?” “I thought it was a monkey!!!”

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Neither. I might email one or two cards but that’s the limit of my Christmas cheer.

I have never started the Christmas card thingo because then it becomes “tradition” and people expect it every year. I’m just not that committed…

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
More than likely something from my ex mother-in-law. Not that it mattered because whatever she gave me the year before, she got the year after. She eventually caught on and stopped giving me gifts which was fine by me because she didn’t get one either.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Woodland Critter Christmas A must see, so I’ve linked the story line and I’ve included the song below…

13. When do you start shopping?
Christmas Eve.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
See number 11.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My mum’s Christmas ham. I’ve done the good daughter thing and invited everyone to my house for Christmas lunch – first time in… first time. I’ve already told mum that if she doesn’t bring a ham, she’s sitting outside.

16. Lights on the tree?
White and coloured ones. And they all blink.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
This one…

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home?
This year I’ll be staying home. Usually I go to the parentals for lunch.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Donner, Blitzen, Cupid, Rudolph, Sleepy, Bashful, Doc… no

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
We, as a family, decided an angel or star was not really “us”, so we had a vote and now Stitch from Lilo and Stitch sits on top of our tree.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas morning. I’m busy shopping for presents on Christmas Eve.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Fucken everything.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
Well one would assume that the theme would be “Christmassy” for Christmas. I go for green, red and white.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
I’ll be cooking roast chooks, a roasted Czech pork, roast lamb, roasted vegetables and other assorted vegetables that you can’t roast (like snow peas and corn (not on the cob) and brussel sprouts). Mum will bring a ham – if she knows what’s good for her and Geof’s mum has to bring a cheesecake, otherwise she can sit outside with my mother.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Peace and quiet, but I’m not getting it, so bah humbug.

Yoinked…

Nov 18, ‘08 2:40 PM

From Drestar who stole it off a bunch of other people…

1. Do you like chinese food? No. Their teeth get stuck in my throat.
2. How big is your bed? Queen sized.
3. Is your room clean? What’s it to you? no
4. Laptop or Desktop computer? Desktop. At least when the monitor blows up, you don’t have to buy a whole new laptop.
5. Favorite comedian? George Carlin (R.I.P GEORGE!!!)
6. Do you smoke? Fuck yes. Why else do you think my children are still alive.
7. Does anyone like you? Yeah, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why.
8. Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice? Her future tombstone and grave plot.
9. Who stole question 9? Condoleeza Rice
10. Sleep with or without clothes on? without. If I want to be strangled in my sleep, I’ll wear a noose.
11. Who sleeps with you every night? Geof-fuh-fuh
12. Do long distance relationships work? Only if both people work at it. More often than not, one doesn’t work at it at all.
13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police? Ahhhhh 4 or 5 times?
14. Pancakes or French Toast? Pancakes. I don’t even know what French toast is. If it’s got tongue in it, I’m puking like right now…
15. Do you like coffee? Prefer tea, but I drink coffee with my mum because she likes to have coffee with her girls.
16. How do you like your eggs? Kept in the carton.
17. Do you believe in astrology? Yes. Because I firmly believe that one twelfth of the entire world is going to have the exact same thing happen to them each and every day. Give me a fucking break… My real answer is NO.
18. Last person you talked to on the phone? The guy who supplies our toners for the printers. Can I add he’s a lying full of shit asshole?
19. Last person on your missed call list? I assume this is a cell phone thing – of which I do not have one…
20. What was the last text message you received? Max is sick today and can’t come into work. That was the last thing on the work message bank so it wasn’t text and I got to listen to his fake coughing and everything! so cool…
21. McDonalds or Burger King? Burger King.
22. Number of pillows? anywhere from 1 to 5. Depends on what I’m doing.
23. Last thing you ate? A chicken wing.
24. Last thing you bought? Smokes
25. What are you hearing right now? Peter and Reg yakkering away about bed bases.
26. Pick a lyric? You pick one. I currently have NO songs in my head and I want to keep it that way.
27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Lemon. It’s not bad, either.
28. Can you play pool? Yes. Badly
29. Do you know how to swim? I live on the world’s largest island. Of course I know how to swim.
30. Favorite ice cream? Choc mint chip
31. Do you like maps? Ahhhh… I don’t really think about maps in that way…
32. Tell me a random fact: I have a lovely bunch of coconuts
33. Ever had a hard on at work: Ummmm no?
34. Ever attend a theme party? A few. Years ago.
35. Ever do a keg stand? What the fuck is a keg stand?
36. Craziest place you’ve slept after a night of drinking? In a tree. It was at a bikie convention and I figured no one would be stupid enough to attempt rape in a tree. I was right.
37. What is your favorite season? Spring.
38. What is the first music video you ever saw? Ummm… christ. I don’t know. Bohemian Rhapsody is the first one I remember.
39. Pick a movie quote: “This means something…” (Close Encounters of the Third Kind)
40. Favorite quote: “The most practical thing in the world is common sense and common humanity” – Nancy Astor. It’s not really my favourite. I don’t really have one and just copied that from my desk calendar.
41. What is your favorite hangout? My house
42. Best friend’s name? I have three. Geof, Jack and Jodie
43. How long have you known them? Geof a year, Jack 9 years, Jodie 22 years.
44. Last time you laughed at something stupid? So much stupid shit happens around me that it’s kinda hard to pick just one.
45. What time did you wake up this morning? 6.30am. I slept in…
46. Wake up next to anyone? Uhhhh. Geof?
47. Best thing about winter? Spring is only 3 months away.
48. Name a couple of favorite colors: Blue, Black and green (but not all together)
49. How old are you? 21 and 77 quarters. You suckers work it out.
50. What month is your birthday in? July
51. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated? Pirates are so fucking retarded and they have been since I was like… 10.
52. Favorite Dave Matthews Band song (if you have one?) Busted Stuff, but only because the original title was “She My Bitch”.
53. What are you doing this weekend? Hopefully nothing.
54. Who will take this survey? Me

100 Things I Like

Oct 23, ‘08 9:13 AM

Yoinked this off Erika and then forgot to do it, but here it is now…

1. Practising ancient torture techniques using bamboo sticks
2. Armpit hair macrame
3. Abandoned shopping trolleys
4. Setting office clocks forward 5 minutes during the day – and then turning them back
5. Prank phone calls
6. Placing ads in the personals section – using my neighbour’s phone number
7. Picking fleas off homeless cats while making monkey noises
8. Keying cars
9. Pictures with dinosaurs and carebears in them – on the same picture
10. Playing with kaleidoscopes when I’m high
11. Spilling people’s drinks in bars
12. Bar fights
13. Telling the kids that I’m eating pig brains when they look like they want what I’m eating
14. Blowing up and banging paper or plastic bags behind old people.
15. Heavily waxing floors, just so I can watch people slip over
16. Turning off peoples’ power from their fuse box so they think there’s a blackout
17. Opening and slamming my car door as we pull up alongside a bicycle rider
18. Suddenly screaming for no apparent reason in public
19. Sneaking into movie theatres and then fighting the usher when I’m caught
20. Pulling out and then knotting wool in the centre of a ball of wool, and then pushing it back in and putting it back on the shop shelf
21. Pouring Nair into conditioner bottles
22. Shaving people’s eyebrows while they sleep
23. Drawing on people while they sleep
24. Suddenly blaring the car horn when mothers with sleeping babies walk past the car
25. Grounding my children
26. Using other people’s email addresses for porn sites
27. Taking labels off cans in shopping centres, then putting the can on another shelf
28. Seeing how far I can throw a ball from the toy section in supermarkets
29. Playing loud music in hospital zones
30. Talking to deaf people, then suddenly turning my back on them mid-sentence
31. Smoking underneath non-smoking signs
32. Calling the police on my neighbours for being noisy, when they’ve not made any noise
33. Sitting out the front of weightwatchers – eating a hamburger
34. Telling people they’ve called the wrong number when they didn’t
35. Pushing all the elevator buttons just before I step out
36. Farting in elevators, just before I step out
37. Suddenly yelling out “he/she did it” while pointing at a stranger, for no apparent reason
38. Waiting at pedestrian crossings till cars stop for me to cross the road – then changing my mind.
39. Swapping detour signs to the opposite direction from which they were originally pointing
40. Yelling out GODZILLA in the middle of a Japanese tour group
41. Staring at a point on a wall or ceiling till someone else does it
42. Losing other people’s keys
43. Dipping my hand in red paint and leaving “bloody hand prints” in obscure public places
44. Writing “poo” on toilet walls with melted chocolate
45. Rustling candy wrappers during church sermons
46. Standing next to another woman in the supermarket aisles with our shopping trolleys and yelling out “vroom vroom”
47. Staring at people on crowded trains and then flicking my tongue out like a lizard when I catch someone’s eye
48. Standing on the side of a busy road while tossing a plastic rubbish bin at passing cars
49. Driving at night while wearing sunglasses
50. Teasing fenced in dogs
51. Conducting conversations with invisible people
52. Tailgating
53. Tailgating at night with my high beams on
54. Driving slowly in front of people who look like they’re in a hurry
55. Yelling out BINGO, even though I don’t have all the numbers
56. Loudly whispering the wrong answers during quiz nights so others get it wrong
57. Pretending that I’m mad so other people leave me alone
58. Telling women that “no… those spandex pants do NOT make your ass look big” when it really really does
59. Tearing off car radio aerials
60. Grabbing cell phones off people and tossing the phone great distances
61. Answering questions when someone is talking on their cell phone to another person
62. Pretending I have Tourette’s
63. Drilling fine holes through pencils before giving them to other people
64. Piercing condom packets on shop shelves
65. Placing plastic fruit in the fruit bowl
66. Hiding all the toilet rolls
67. Telling children that Santa isn’t real
68. Forgetting to leave out money when my kids lose a tooth – but I still take the tooth
69. Slapping bandaids on a person’s arm before instantly ripping it back off
70. Pulling out individual moustache hairs on men
71. Laughing and pointing at people for no reason
72. Playing music loudly with the treble up too high
73. Promising to record television programs, but taking it off record five minutes before the show finishes
74. Giving fake telephone messages to work colleagues
75. Smacking other people’s children
76. Yelling out “Give me all your money!!!” in libraries
77. Talking loudly about vaginal itches and rashes in crowded places
78. Asking thin women when their baby is due
79. Pretending I’m a Sith lord
80. Telling little kids to “grow up” when I see them playing
81. Singing one song line over and over and over and over
82. Dancing to elevator music
83. Calling out price checks on shopping centre PA systems
84. Pretending I’m blind while seated in my car at red lights
85. Picking my nose when I know others are watching
86. Tossing sand on other people’s clean laundry
87. “Accidentally” squirting water at people who walk past the house
88. Offering a piece of steak to the dog, before eating it myself
89. Starting arguments
90. Laughing during funerals
91. Standing up and making noise when asked at weddings if anyone objects to the marriage
92. Running bikers/bikies off the road
93. Giving people back the gift they got me the year before
94. Illegally parking in handicap spaces
95. Yelling out the plot twist in a movie theatre before the movie finishes
96. Going up to people in hospitals, telling them the patient “isn’t gonna make it”
97. Burning books
98. Coating contact lenses with cayenne pepper
99. Placing frozen chickens into sex positions while they’re still in the freezer section of the supermarket
100. Double dipping at parties

Stuffies

Sep 12, ‘08 12:09 PM

Stolen from Erika – the Questionnaire Queen.

1. What is your guiltiest pleasure? Masturbation

2. What qualities are needed to lead your country? At the moment, I’d settle for a unicycle riding Jack Russell…

3. What is your most unappealing habit? Bite your tongue. Everything is appealing about me. I’m even cute when I’m gnawing on my toenails.

4. When is it right to swear? All the fucken time. Why limit yourself on the fun things?

5. Are children worse or better than they used to be? Worse. Back then, I didn’t have any and I was a child myself, so they were better back then.

6. When were you happiest? I’m happy all the time. Even during sad times, it’s not long before I’m happy again.

7. Does love conquer all? It can conquer a lot of stuff, but for the things it can’t conquer, I’d opt for a broadsword and an Uzi 9mm.

8. Apart from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought? Birth control. It led me towards having sex which then begat children who then begat the current black hole that’s running rife through my bank account. Tragic…

9. What would you most like to write a poem about? The lump of dog poo that graced the grass on the verge. I’d do it in Haiku.

10. Go on then, write it… F&(*ker. Sigh…

Dog poo rests on verge.
Why can’t owners clean it up?
Nasty dog poo – yuk.

I’ll Leave You With This…

Sep 5, ‘08 3:49 PM

Kindly provided by Brent…

Pick a word that begins with the first letter of your first name?
Deoxyribonucleic-acid

Did you ever get kid’s meals from McDonald’s just for the toys?
What do you mean “did you ever”? I still do. Shhhhhh…

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?
What the fuck are you doing here and how did you find me?

Have you ever caught anything on fire?
Yup. Lots of times, in fact, but the most memorable was starting a fire under the slide set at the park we used to live across the road from. Mum was running backwards and forwards with buckets of water and stamping out the fire with her thongs on. I was 8 at the time…

Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?
There are people that I put before me, those people being my children and my Geof-fuh-fuh

How long is your hair when it’s wet?
It’s 2 inches higher than where my waist should be.

How many times have you been to the ER?
For myself, once. For the children, about a dozen…

Is your profile private why or why not?
I’ve got all my stuff on friends only because I’m sick of stalkers and ass-tards. The way I’ve got it, no one knows anything about me unless I want them to know. I’ve become quite anti-social since the stalker bullshit.

Do you drink soda?
Is a frog’s ass water tight? I love soda.

Have you ever been on an airplane?
Yeah back when I was 4 was the first and last time I was on a commercial flight, but I’ve flown in a lot of light aircraft and seeing as dad used to be a mechanic for the Air Force in the Eastern States, I’ve flown on a lot of unconventional people carrier types of aircraft.

Marriage in your future?
It’s a part of my present, so I’ll say yes

Is McDonalds disgusting?
No more disgusting than a lot of other fast food outlets out there.

Do you like your life?
Yup, I do. It’s not perfect, but it suits me well.

Are you ticklish?
So ticklish that you only have to THINK of tickling me, I’ll start giggling.

Do you have trust issues?
Not with those people that I care about and love. Everyone else, yup.

In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence?
Ummmmmmmmm… yes.

How has this past week been for you?
Been a bit of a rollercoaster ride, but I’m still hanging on.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
I believe that things just happen. I don’t need purpose in my life in order to exist and I believe that things just… are…

Who are you disappointed in right now?
No one, really. What’s the freaken point?

Do tattoos and piercing excite you?
I think that “excite” is the wrong word. I am interested in them, but that’s about it…

I’ll bet you’re missing someone right now?
My Geof-fuh-fuh. I love spending time with him, but work won’t let me keep him here!

If you got married to the last person you kissed would you be happy?
I did marry the last person I kissed, so I’ll say yes.

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
Depends on what they did just prior to the walk out. I can be a very unforgiving person.

Do you do your own laundry?
Yup I most surely do. And Geof’s, and the girls. We all kinda take turns.

Do you believe that all girls are the same?
God no.

Do you hate the last girl you were talking to?
Uhhh. No?

How many months until your birthday?
10 months.

Are you happy?
Very happy, thenk you

How good is Coca-Cola?
So good that if I was in Mass. and I wasn’t married to Geof-fuh-fuh, you’d be hearing wedding bells in my future – and all my future inlaws would be tied to the wedding car with string!!!

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
Sure will.

Does it bother you when your friends bring up your past mistakes to make fun of?
Nope it doesn’t bother me at all. In all honesty, my past mistakes are rarely mentioned because I’m forever giving people new material to make fun of me.

What side of a heart do you draw first?
The right side (I had to check…)

What are you doing tonight?
Going to visit my sister in hospital and then get dad and Geof gifts for Father’s Day (first Sunday in September. What is it for everyone else?)

In detail… how was your last kiss?
Quick and chaste. I was out the front of work and Geof was dropping me off.

Was your last kiss a mistake?
Yes. It could have gone for longer, but when you’ve got 20 impressionable people looking at you at the time, you take what you can get.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
What the hell? These questions are weird… Yes. I still talk to the last person I kissed.

Are you good at giving directions?
Sure am! Go to hell. Go to buggery. Get bent. I’m really good at them

What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Geof

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
Uh yeah… I’m at work, so I would say so.

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?
LOL!!! Oh hell yeah.

Erika made me do it…

Sep 3, ‘08 3:39 PM

Stolen from Erika, the Quiz Queen.

What color eyes does the last person you kissed have?
Gorgeous melt-me-in-the-tummy brown eyes with flecks of green.

What’s a lyric from the song you’re listening to?
The radio isn’t working on the phones at work (screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech) but I love the lyrics to Bon Jovi’s “You Had Me From Hello”.

How old is the first person on your top (of my Myspace list)?
I don’t have a MySpace list…

Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
The person I like? Ahhhh…. I’m going to assume that’s Geof, because I like him and I love him, so yeah… sure I’ll be talking to him.

Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
I hope so. He’s my husband.

Do you have reason to smile right now?
Definitely. I have an awful lot to smile about and I always do find something to smile about. It’s not common for me to dwell on the bad shit.

Have you ever woken up next to someone and wanted to puke?
LOL!!! Yeah… An ex of mine was just… blergh.

Why is the song you picked for your myspace song up?
Noooooooo MySpace, but when I did have MySpace, I had a thingo that played about 15 or so songs and they were up because I liked them (duh)

Do you have one specific type of music you listen to?
Nope. I don’t like country, polka or death metal. Anything else is free game to my ears

Name one thing you need to live?
I couldn’t do without oxygen…

What’s one thing that would instantly make you hate a person?
Lies, deceit and skullduggery. I hate sneaky people.

What do you do when you need to relax?
Grab Geof, the bong and my cigarettes and take them all outside. Geof and I shoot the breeze and I am instantly de-stressed.

Do you like things in life to stay how they are or change?
Change isn’t a bad thing so I’m always up for changes. Having said that, I also like my life the way it is.

What are you listening to right now?
Peter talking in his office to someone on the phone.

If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first?
Hmmmm…. a holiday.

What do you do when you’re stressed out?
Blog.

Would you honestly say you’d risk your life for someone else?
For my family, yes.

Do you believe in aliens?
Anyone who believes that we are truly alone in the entire universe would be considered arrogant. I could go on for forever about man’s over inflated ego when it comes to our purported station in life, but eh…

Could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you?
Nope. Last boyfriend who physically hurt me is still living in another country and that happened 23 years ago. I have protective friends…

Do you have a best friend?
Yeah. I have two and a half best friends.

Can money buy happiness?
Not really, but lets be honest, it’d certainly help.

Are you looking forward to anything?
Geof-fuh-fuh snuggles after work (37 minutes to go!!!)

Do you open up to people easily?
No. I’m quite chatty, but it takes me a while to open up to a person.

Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Andrew. But I’m not the only one he upset. There’s a queue

Do you think you would be a good parent?
Some would say I’m a shit parent, others would say I’m a good parent. I’ve prepared the girls for life and I’m pleased with the results thus far…

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
Reg. I’ve got my annual review coming up.

Whats your favorite drink?
Coca Cola.

Do you miss anyone?
Geof when he’s not with me. I have his pic on my desk now

Is your room messy, right now?
Dude, I don’t even HAVE a room, but it’d be messy. I’m disorganised and lazy. Usually, Geof’s side is neat, but mine looks like a bomb has hit it.

What are you going to do tomorrow?
Work and stuff.

Do you take care of your friends when they’re sick?
Uhhh no? I’m too busy with my family.

Who is your favorite person of the opposite sex to have a serious conversation with?
Geof-fuh-fuh

Who was driving the last car you were in?
Geof-fuh-fuh

What kind of digital camera brand do you have?
Ummm… *checks* Kodak!

Are you on any medication?
No, but apparently I should be…

Do you own a brand new car?
Oh god no. I won’t buy any car with a computer chip in it. Those suckers cost more to replace than the whole damn car!

Does any part of your body hurt right now?
My legs, back and arms. It was a VERY busy weekend.

Who was the last person that texted you?
No idea. My cellphone is a very expensive paperweight in the bottom of my bag.

What are you craving right now?
Chocolate milk

Whats the closest red thing to you?
My can of coke

What is the last pill you swallowed?
Ummmmmmmmmm Panadol. On Sunday night.

How did you sleep last night?
Like the proverbial log.

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
It’s wages day.

What did you do yesterday?
Worked, did mom and wifey stuff after work. Boring, huh!!!

What were you doing at 7:30?
Well 7.30am, I was getting in the car to go to work and 7.30pm last night, I was spending time with Geof, mum and the girls.

Update and Needs

Aug 27, ‘08 11:34 AM

I leave you with a fun exercise that I just read on Billytheclam’s page. You go to google and put in your name and then the word “needs” (eg: Deb needs) and enter. Copy and paste the first 10 needs that come up and you’re done!

Here’s mine…

Deb needs a revelation when a grisly axe murderer kills a man and demolishes his computer. (an excellent start to this list!!)
deb needs to be uploaded to Debi an archive
(I’m an archive?)
deb needs HAL removed
(what are you doing, Dave?)
Deb Needs public search listing on Facebook
(Deb needs a Facebook first!)
deb needs dependency on python-xml
(is this a dick thing?)
Deb needs more time
(yes. yes she does…)
Deb needs now
(Needy fucker, aren’t I?)
Deb needs railings to go downstairs
(Considering I habitually fall UPstairs, I think downstairs are safe)
Deb needs a disabled parking permit in addition to a staff permit
(This made me laugh so hard, that people came out of their offices to see what was up. Considering I work with the disabled, this was priceless)
Deb needs to address this
(yes. yes I do and I’ll do that immediately…)

I did not smoke Heroin.

Aug 25, ‘08 1:19 PM

Yoinked this from a ton of other people. I was going to do it about three weeks ago but I got sidetracked…

1) Do you like blue cheese? No, not really. When I found out it was a fungus, it put me right off. Even though I eat mushrooms…

2) Have you ever smoked heroin? God no. I’ve smoked a ton of weed, but I don’t trust anything that gives me the ability to lose total control.

3) Do you own guns? Not anymore. I used to when I was shooting roos, but handed them in to the police during an amnesty on guns.

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Don’t know what sonic is, but is “ice blocks” a flavour?

5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not unless it’s for something important. Once I found a lump in my breast and I freaked out and didn’t want to go to the doc’s, but it ended up being nothing.

6) What do you think of hot dogs? I don’t really think of hotdogs at all. The girls like them enough.

7) Favorite Christmas song? The one they played on Die Hard. Jingle Bell Rock?

What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coca cola. It wakes me up.

9) Can you do push ups? I can do them. Just not very well…

10) Can you do a chin up? I could possibly do a chin up. Any more than 1 and we’re in trouble, though…

11) What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding and engagement rings. I get the feeling they’re going to be my favourites for a VERY long time.

12) Favorite hobby? Hmmmm… Is Geof a hobby? I’m lacking in the hobby department. I’ll have to think of something!

13) Ever been in a car wreck? Not a car wreck, no. I’ve been involved in a couple of accidents, but nothing bad.

14) Do you have A.D.D.? More than likely, yes. I read the list that indicates you’re ADD and I answered yes to a LOT.

15) What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? Currently, I’ve got the farts really bad. I hate that when I’m at work… You’ll have to ask Geof about any other traits seeing as I kind of like who I am and if I hated something that much, I’d try and change it.

16) Middle name? Leanne

17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.

1. What the hell did I EAT last night???

2. I need to reapply my lipstick

3. I wish I was home with Geof.

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday.

1. Dinner

2. Cat food

3. Coca cola

19) Name 3 drinks you drink regularly? Coke, chocolate milk and water.

20) Current worry? Talia’s pregnancy. She missed her abortion appointment (I’m still trying to figure out how the hell she missed it) and she’s only got two more weeks before the decision is taken out of her hands.

21) Current hate right now? Being at work after spending a very relaxing week at home with Geof-fuh-fuh

22) Favorite book? Ugh. I have so many favourites. Currently Piers Anthony’s Bio of a Space Tyrant. I just found them all on Amazon and now I’m waiting for them to be delivered so I can read them again.

23) How did you bring in the New Year? Went out with Geof-fuh-fuh

24) Where would you like to go? On holiday? Preferably Egypt or Africa but right now, all I want to do is go home.

25) Name three people who will complete this. Probably no one seeing as I’m one of the last.

26) Do you own slippers? Yeah. They were meant to be for Caris, but I ended up yoinking them instead.

27) What shirt are you wearing? I’m not wearing a shirt. I’m wearing a purple sweater.

28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Satin is over rated. I prefer cotton in summer and flanellette in winter.

29) Can you whistle? Not very well. I suck in instead of blow out.

30) Ringer on your phone? The average ring tone. I hate all that musical shit.

31) Would you be a pirate? I think, given my sex, that I wouldn’t have been allowed to be a pirate. I would have been a serving wench.

32) What songs do you sing in the shower? My favourite is Liberation by the Village People.

33) Favorite girl’s name? Talia, Caris and Cheyenne. I always wanted twins so I could call them Egypt and Africa, but it wasn’t meant to be.

34) Favorite boy’s name? Geof, Connor and Seth.

35) What’s in your pocket? A lighter and 40 cents in loose change.

36) Last thing that made you laugh. I laugh all the time, but last night Geof and I had a tickle fight and we were both giggling like loons through most of it.

37) Best bed sheets as a child. Star Wars sheets. They had C3PO and R2D2 on them.

38) Worst injury you’ve ever had. Child birth. It’s not really an injury, but I remember that all three hurt like a bitch.

39) Do you love where you live. I do. I love the sun and the rain and I love the open spaces. I live in the suburbs so it’s not crowded like in the city but it has everything the city has to offer.

40) How many TVs do you have in your house? I have three televisions, two don’t work. I’ll be getting those fixed very soon.

41) Who is your loudest friend? I don’t have any loud friends.

42) How many dogs do you have? One. Bronnie. She’s a bull terrier cross and she’s gorgeous. Caris has been working hard at training her and I’ve been very impressed with the results so far.

43) Do you like sushi? I like it enough. Sometimes it can taste a little funky and I really need to be in the mood to eat it.

44) Best friend in grade school? Jennifer Harper was my friend till she died of Leukemia when we were both 10. After her, I didn’t really spend a lot of time with people at primary school and wasn’t interested in friends till high school.

45) What is your favorite song. Oh I have tons. My ultimate favourite is Kelly Rowland’s Work, but it has to be the Freemason remix. When Geof comes and picks me up, the radio will be playing and if I get bored with the radio I’ll swap it over to the disc player and Geof will have set it up to play Work first.

46) Favorite candy? Turkish Delight, but in truth, I’d eat anything from Cadbury.

47) Favorite Sports Team? Boston Celtics have been a firm favourite since primary school.

48) What song do you want played at your funeral? I don’t think I’m going to care…

49) What were you doing 12 AM last night? I was either sleeping or watching a movie. I remember I was watching Starship Troopers 3 when I dropped off last night but I didn’t check the time, sorry!

50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? That it was my first day back at work and I was gonna miss Geof like the dickens.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeere I Go Again!!

Aug 7, ‘08 11:02 AM

Well… first Geof did it, then Erika did it, so now it’s my turn…

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5.53am

2. Diamonds or pearls? Neither

3 What was the last film you saw at the cinema. 10,000 bc. I think… I download my movies so I’m up to date with what’s out there, just don’t leave my comfort zone to do it

4. What is your favourite TV show? Dexter – without a shadow of a doubt. Only thing is, I don’t watch it on TV because they’re only up to episode 5 of season 1 and they’re chock full of adverts. I watched season 2 early last year and I’m currently gearing up for season 3.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Nothing. I can’t even look at food till 10am.

6. What is your middle name? Leanne

7. What food do you dislike? Okra and offal. I keep waiting for the list to grow but it’s a slow start. I’m starting to dislike avocado and I’m not sure why.

8. What is your favourite CD at the moment? The one Geof and I made together. Yup… we got us a MIX TAPE – 21st century style.

9. What kind of car do you drive? An emerald green Ford Festiva.

10. Favourite sandwich? Ham, salami, olives, artichoke and salad.

11. What do you despise? Bullshitters.

12. Favourite item of clothing? My hoodie. I yoinked it from Talia’s ex boyfriend – he was major tall (we all called him Lurch) so it fits me really well in the arms

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Egypt or Africa. Both?

14. Where would you retire to? Don’t care so long as those I love are around me.

15. What was your most recent memorable birthday? My 40th. I’m getting old and I can’t remember my 39th oy vey

16. Furthest place you are sending this questionnaire? As far as my blog page. It’s all I’m willing to give!

17. Person you expect to send it back first? Well… no one is sending it, per se. It’s in my blog…

18. When is your birthday? 16th July

19. Morning person or a night person? Both. I can stay up till forever and then wake up in the morning all chipper and chirpy. People hate me for it.

20. What is your shoe size Clown size. My feet are stupid big.

21. Pets? No thanks! I already have 4 cats, a dog and my lil rat Boo.

22. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? I’m getting married to Geof-fuh-fuh next week. It’s hardly “news” seeing as everyone has known about it for some months now…

23. What did you want to be when you were little? A Fire truck or a Charlie’s Angel.

24. How are you today? Pretty damn good!

25. What is your favourite flower? Geof-fuh-fuh found these blue and purple orchids and I fell in love with them. They’re my favourite

26. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? August 16, 2008

27. What are you listening to right now? Some souped up version of INXS’s song “Never Tear Us Apart”. It’s crap. Oh it’s Have A Nice Day by Bon Jovi now. That’s way better…

28. What was the last thing you ate? Geof-fuh-fuh!!! Are you stealing my chocolate? (Hide it from the girls). I had… a chip.

29. Do you wish on stars? Nope. Geof steals em all.

30. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? purple with sparkly bits.

31. How is the weather right now? Fucking cold.

32. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Terry from Rokset. Work calls suck ass.

33. Favourite soft drink? Coke

34. Favourite restaurant? Witches Cauldron

35. Hair colour? In its original state, it is brown and grey. I have it dyed black.

36. What was your favourite toy as a child? My rollerskates

37. Summer or winter? Neither. Give me spring, or give me death.

38. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

39. Coffee or tea? Tea

40. Do you want your friends to email you back? Hmmm only three people have my email address…

41. When was the last time you cried? Two nights ago.

42. What is under your bed? A monster and the carpet.

43. What did you do last night? Had the wedding rehearsal with Geof-fuh-fuh and the rest of our crazy gang.

44. What are you afraid of? Children

45. Salty or sweet? Salty!

46. How many keys on your key ring? I don’t own keys. I lose them – even the work ones…

47. How many years at your current job? I’ve been here almost a year now.

48. Favourite day of the week? Saturday because it’s one day away from the weekend, and I know I have a day off the next day. Sunday I get to sleep in with Geof-fuh-fuh and I love snuggling in and watching a movie while he snores.

49. What happened to question 49? It was abducted by aliens and probed… Hard!!!

50. How many people will you send this to? No one. That’s what a blog is for.

51. How many will respond? The two main offenders have already beat me to it, so probably no one.

52. Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? We need a juicy survey where we find out REALLY fun stuff!

More Fun

Aug 1, ‘08 2:16 PM

Yoinked from awesome Aunee.

Whats one word that describes your last fight?
Ridonkulous.

What were you doing ten minutes ago?
Typing up a blog entry.

What’s the last movie you saw?
Next. Stars Nicholas Cage, Julianne Moore and Jennifer Biel. Watch it, cos it’s really good!

How are you feeling right now?
Supercalafreakinawesome! It’s Friday

How many times have you moved?
Oh christ. Tons of times.

Would you do anything for someone else?
Depends on the person. I’m wiser for the mistakes I have previously made.

How old will you be in 2 months?
Still 40.

What was the reason you last cried?
I can’t remember!

Is there anything currently bothering you?
LOL not anymore

What are your plans for tonight?
Dinner with my parents, finalising wedding plans. Hee…

Last place you hugged someone?
Geof and I are real huggy, so it could have been anywhere, but I’m thinking our bedroom.

What kind of phone do you have?
A dead one.

How was your day?
It’s been great. The guys out in the workshop have done really really well in regard to production, so we had a yummo morning tea with cake and I had a few smokes with them at lunch time. It’s been terrific.

Do you know anyone named Matt?
Only online. Oddly, I know of none offline

What have you eaten today?
Two pieces of cake. I’m saving myself for dinner. My dad cooks better than Gordon Ramsey.

Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
When it’s as long as it is, it’s wavy. When it’s short, it’s curly.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Susan. We went and got the cakes for morning tea.

Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
Greg from the Office of the Public Advocate. Nope. Now it’s Terry from Rokset.

Do you think you’re smart?
I don’t think I’m smart, I know I’m smart. I’m just a lazy mofo.

Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
In bed.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
Yup

Is the sun shining?
Nuh… it’s kind of grey out there, but what else would I expect during winter?

What jewelry are you wearing?
My engagement ring and two sets of ear rings and a stud.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
When I first got online, I wanted to know how long I could last online without sleeping. It was the better part of the week before I started to hallucinate and I called it a day and slept.

Where is your phone?
My home phone is at home. The base is on the kitchen wall near the connection, the actual handset is in our bedroom. My cell phone is dead in the bottom of my handbag.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Geof-fuh-fuh, when we woke up.

Are you a forgiving person?
Yes, but if I’m pushed too far, watch the fuck out

What’s something you really want right now?
Snuggles from Geof. A few kisses from him would make my day complete.

Have you ever fallen for one of your exes best friend?
Fallen? No. Fucked. Yup.

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
Some gum. Want some?

How late did you stay up last night and why?
It was after midnight, Geof and I were watching Next. I think I watched the first hour of Donnie Darko before I started to fall asleep, so I rolled over for my sleep hugs.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
Three days ago when I found out that someone who was once like a sister to me is the one who has been tormenting me for the last few months. That’s some messed up shit.

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Jeff!!!

Jul 30, ‘08 3:42 PM

Yoinked this from Jeff (aka The Happy Slapper) who stole it from others, blogjackin’ fool that he is

1. My best friends names are? Geof-fuh-fuh and Jodes

2. The last person on my contacts I met in person? Ahhhh… Geof? I’d like to meet Mila at some stage, too – Seeing as she’s in Western Australia too.

3. My cell phone is: dead in my handbag – where it’s been for about 6 months now…

4. One event that changed my life was: The birth of my kids. Wave bye bye to personal freedom and peace and quiet

5. My first online page was… Uhhhh… Livejournal, I think. I’ve had so many…

6. I have/have not ever posted on Nude Africa (anonymously or not) What the fuck would I be doing that for? LOL can you even IMAGINE me on that?

7. My first online friend turned real life friend’s name is: Lissa. She was this crazy redhead from chat who came and stayed with me for a week. Good times, people. GOOD TIMES!!!

8. One CD folks wouldn’t expect me to own is….ABBA Gold

9. Single, divorced, never married? Divorced, about to remarry

10. How many folks from your contact list are you crushing on? Just the one. My Geof-fuh-fuh

11. I am a registered voter – Like you get a choice in Australia? Yeah I am, but even if it wasn’t compulsory, I still would.

12. I sleep in…Geof’s arms

13. Shampoo/conditioner I use : Palmolive something or other. It smells divine and when I walk, I create my own wind, just so I can smell it. Tyra Banks fans will understand what I mean by this and no it does not involve farting.

14. My favorite teacher: Mr Meagher. Pure eye candy and I still don’t know how I did so well in science class.

15. My first date’s name was? Oh hell… ummmmmmm David, I think. Yeah David. He was my date for my grade 7 social.

16. My favorite fruit is? Strawberries, primarily. I like all fruits.

17. What I like most about my job? Everything. I absolutely love my job.

18. My best physical feature? According to Geof, it’s a toss up between my eyes and my smile. Personally, I prefer my feet. Mmmmm Hobbitt feet…

19. One blog I MUST visit daily: Everyone’s if I can. I wouldn’t add people if I wasn’t interested.

20. I’m way more innocent than folks think. I’m nowhere near innocent and I don’t think I give the impression of innocence anywho

I’ve come to realise…

Jul 28, ‘08 2:26 PM

That you all spell realise wrong

I’m going through other people’s older blog posts and I yoinked this from OJ.

1. I’ve come to realize that my legs… are fat at the knees and need a shave. I didn’t just realise my knees were fat, I’ve known for a while…

2. I’ve come to realize that my job… is better than I ever expected it to be.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving… I should remind myself that I currently don’t have a license, and that I should stop driving.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need… the love and support from my friends and family that I used to formally shun.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost… people along the way that didn’t really matter to me like I thought they did.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when… my children fight about stupid shit. Life’s too short.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk… It’s the weekend…

8. I’ve come to realize that money… probably really IS the root of all evil.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people… just can’t be fixed, no matter how much of an asshole they are and no matter how much you’d like to see them do better for themselves.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always be… inclined to fill out stoopid memes and bore everyone in my friends list. I don’t even give a shit if it’s boring them, so there.

11. I’ve come to realize that I have a crush on… the same person that I am in love with and it makes all the difference.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom… is a way better person than I ever gave her credit for.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone is… a very handy paperweight.

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning… that I didn’t realise shit. It was too fucken early and it’s Monday. I’m thankful I’m breathing without assistance, let alone having realisations.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep… I should have shagged Geof-fuh-fuh just one more time.

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking about… Shagging Geof-fuh-fuh.

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad… says he has “no opinion” because he’s too smart to actually say what’s on his mind.

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Multiply… People either post way too much where there’s a glut and I have to battle through 4 pages in my inbox, or it dries up and there’s nothing, so I’m looking for stuff I might have missed during the glut times.

19. I’ve come to realize that today… will be over (work wise) in 1 hour and 37 minutes and no I’m not counting… okay… yeah I am. I want to go home to Geof.

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight… wtf… how do you realise something that’s not even happened yet?

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow… will be more of the same and that’s not a bad thing.

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to…. Go home and snuggle with Geof-fuh-fuh. It’s cold, it’s raining and I want hugs, damnit!

Blame Erika

Jul 15, ‘08 3:56 PM

It’s another survey. Yayyyyyy (sorry).

Anyone having a problem with these, kindly direct your nasty comments to Erika, cos this is her fault

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I’m gonna be 40 tomorrow…

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
Probably tonight. I like it regular, or I get cranky!!!

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “FUCK”
firetruck

4. Favorite planet?
Corellia. Anyone who has to Google this will suffer the wrath of my severe disappointment.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
Fuck knows

6. What is the ring on your phone?
It’s standard, when it’s on.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
I’m actually wearing two sweaters. A black cotton turtleneck and a knitted sweater over the top in muted burgundy’s and grey’s.

8. Do you “label” yourself?
The only label I apply to myself is “Deb”.

9.Name the brand of shoes you are currently wearing?
My ugg boots

10. Bright or Dark Room?
It’s bright at the moment, but I prefer the dark.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
She’s a good sort. I like her.

12. If you’re alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
Who cares?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
It was an I love you text message from Geof and I think it was sent back in February. That’s the last time I charged and turned on my phone, anywho.

15. Who is the last person you saw?
Julia. She’s just over there >>>>>

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Ummmmm… There are so many words that I say a lot. Probably my name, seeing as I’m answering a phone all day every day.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Geof-fuh-fuh. I was going to catch a train home, but it’s pissing down, so I called Geof to come and get me and we always close off our phone conversations with “I love you”.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
LOL I just snorted. You seriously don’t want to know.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days
Ummmmm one, but it was a cone full of leaf. Hardly counts really.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
None. Digital cameras rawk.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
17. Fuck all responsibilities.

22. Your worst enemy
Don’t have one.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Nothing. It’s alllllll black.

24. What was the last thing you said to some one?
No Charlie. You can’t put a rat trap in your drawer…

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you do?
Fly. Then get people to pay me to watch it.

26. Do you like someone?
I like quite a few people…

27. The last song you listened to?
Rhianna – Please Don’t Stop The Music..

28. If the last person you talked to randomly got mad at you.. what would you do?
Charlie gets mad all the time. I just ignore him.

29. If you could punch one person in the face who’s in your life right now, who would it be?
No one is worth the possibility of breaking my nails. I have a wedding coming up.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
My right foot. They’re crossed.

50 Things you don’t know about me

Jul 8, ‘08 1:55 PM

Survey yoinked from Erika who yoinked it from her friend Laura. Geof-fuh-fuh also yoinked it from Erika, so careful… it’s almost reached epidemic proportions already. Only proceed if you’re wearing a face mask…

Renamed to: 50 Things you might not know about me, but chances are there are no surprises here.

1, What colour is your toothbrush?
Well it WAS green and white, but it’s gone. How the hell does a toothbrush even disappear? Why is ANYONE other than me even TOUCHING it?!?!?! Now I have an orange, yellow and something toothbrush that Geof-fuh-fuh had as a spare.

2, Name one person that made you smile today?
Geof-fuh-fuh always makes me smile.

3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Taking the phones of nightswitch and arcing up my computer for the work day.

4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Yakking to Reg and Julia about cancer. Yeah… we have some pretty funky conversations and, believe it or not, this conversation was directly after talking about bottles of milk. I’m still confused as to the connection, but at the time the conversation just seemed to flow..

5, What is your favourite candy bar?
I love me a Fry’s Turkish Delight bar. They’re just so… yummy!!!

6, Have you ever been to a strip club?
Awww man I LOVE strip clubs. Gonna have to get Geof to one soon. They’re a whole lot of fun and I usually end up with a bunch of half naked women sitting at my table and chatting. Good times…

7, What is the last thing you said aloud?
“I’m hurt that you didn’t get me to type that up. Consider yourself unsecretaried…”

8, What is the best ice cream flavour?
The ice cream that Geof gets me from McD’s. It has chocolate fudge down the bottom and caramel up the top.

9, What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coca cola, of course

10, Do you like your wallet?
I LOVE my wallet to the point that I actually took pics of it and blogged about it. It’s red with an alligator profile worked into it. Love it love it love it.

11, What was the last thing you ate?
A chicken strip with the bread crumbs taken of it.

12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No. That’s what mommies are for. I got some lovely sweaters last Friday night.

13, The last sporting event you watched?
Uhhh… hmm… nope. Can’t remember.

14, What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?
Gimme my salt and budduh (that’s butter, not a mispelt god’s name…)

15, Who is the last person you sent a message on myspace?
Hummmmmmmmm… not been on MySpace in forever, but it would have been Geof, seeing it’s where we first had knowledge of each other.

16, Ever go camping?
Yup all the time. It’s been a while now, but perhaps this summer… Geof-fuh-fuh? What do you think-kuh-kuh?

17, Do you take vitamins daily?
I don’t think blowjobs count, so I’ll say no.

18, Do you go to church every Sunday?
If I stepped foot in a church, I would be instantly smited – 4 seconds before the church then collapsed on its own foundations. I’m evil, yanno…

19, Do you have a tan?
No, but then, it IS the middle of winter now. SHOULD I have one?

20,Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Oh definitely. Probably better for me, too.

21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Not usually, no…

22, What did your last text message say?
It would have been an I love you message from Geof.

23, What are you doing tomorrow?
Working. I live for work and all that…

24. Look to your right, what so you see?
Windows, the front door to the office, two chairs, 3 traffic cones (Don’t ask. I don’t know), three tables, a plate of plastic fruit and two fake plants and a fire extinguisher. I can also see Julia in her office.

25, Look to your left, what do you see?
A free standing thingo that you pin papers and certificates on, fax machine, microphone, the rest of my desk.

26, What colour is your watch?
I am currently not wearing it, but my watch is black and the numbers are chinese and there are also the different animals on it. You know… year of the dog, year of the horse etc etc. It’s pretty cool.

27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
I think of beautiful hot deserts, green grass, brilliant blue skies with fluffy white clouds, native plants and animals, open spaces. Home

28, What is your birthstone?
Ruby, but I really wish it was emerald

29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Walk in. I hate saying Geof’s order into the speaker.

30, What is your favourite number?
I don’t have a favourite number, but I was not surprised when Geof put 666 as his answer. I’m pretty sure he’s got it stamped on his body somewhere. Probably under all that hair on his scalp…

31,Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mother. Just then. She left a message during my brief absence, so I was returning her call.

32, Any plans today?
Yup. Geof and I are going to do all the paperwork that allows us to legally be wed. I’m still waiting for the smile to be wiped off my face.

33, How many states have you lived in?
Technically, 3. Australian States, that is…

34, Biggest annoyance right now?
My chest is itchy and I’ve run out of antihistamines. Also, the top I’m wearing – the top button is loose. I’m hoping it stays just the way it is till I get home and fix it.

35, Last song listened to?
Beautiful Day by U2. I have the radio on at work all the time.

36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Sure can!!! Excellent meditation exercise.

37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
LOL no! The girls have chores but eh… if they were maids I would have already fired them a dozen times over.

38, Favourite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Loving my uggs. They’re warm

39, Are you jealous of anyone?
Hard to be jealous of someone when you’re happy right where you are.

40, Is anyone jealous of you?
Not to my knowledge, and if there is, I’m more than happy to set them straight.

41, Do you love anyone?
I love several people and I love them very much.

42, Do any of your friends have children?
Yup. It’s roughly half half. Some of my friends are career driven hard asses and the rest are earth mothers.

43, What do you usually do during the day?
Woooooooooork.

44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Hate is such a strong word. I don’t like people that I no longer care about having that type of hold over me. I’d go more for “indifference” than “hate”.

45, Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?
I say “hi”. Hello is so formal, but not as formal as the “good morning” or “good afternoon” I say on the phone about 100 times a day.

46, What colour is your car?
My car is green. Emerald green.

47, Do you like cats?
I love cats. They’re not the assholes people paint them out to be.

49,Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Before I answer this, what happened to 48?

As to the question… Nope, and in all honesty, with all the accidents they’re having, it’s now down on my “never visit” list. Call me selfish, but I like my hands and feet attached to my body, just the way they are.

50. Do you love being you?
I wouldn’t say I love being me, but I am satisfied. You take the good with the bad and it all evens out.

RiDONKulous Survey

Jul 1, ‘08 2:26 PM

Myke has dared me to fill in a survey and you know what? I’m gonna do it, but not in a woosy PM… I’m gonna do it in PUBLIC!!!

This is long. This is massive. This nearly took me all damn day.

full name: I don’t even know some people’s REAL names on my friend’s list, so you all can be happy with just “Deborah”.

nickname(s): Debedoo, Debo and Dork. Geof-fuh-fuh calls me Babe and Hon, too.

birthday: 16/07/1968

where were you born: Kurrajong, New South Wales, Australia

zodiac sign: Cancer, baby

height: 5′11″

weight: I’ve banned scales from my home and my life.

hair color: Black with some grey and brown coming through. I really need to dye it again…

eye color: Green, blue or grey. They change all the time, much to Geof’s amusement.

shoe size: clown. I feel like I have massive feet, but, upon checking, they ARE in proportion to my height.

ring size: Shit… babe? what’s my ring size?

skin type: Uhhhh skin type? Well I have a bit of a T-Zone on my face… or did this mean colour?

blood type: O neg

grade: A grade baaaaaaabyyyyyyyy. Unless this is a school type question – then the answer would be “teacher” because I’m beyond grades now.

GPA: We don’t do that in Australia, or we didn’t when I went to school, but I did get Intermediate for Social Studies, Intermediate for Math, Advanced Credit for English and Science. Happy now?

siblings: 1 younger sister.

tattoos: I have a tiger above my right breast and some Elvish script on my back. I’m very much looking forward to my next tattoo which Geof-fuh-fuh and I are designing. He knows what I want and he’s pretty damn handy with a pencil.

piercings: Ears for now.

hobbies: Reading, writing, crochet, knitting, music, Geof… heh heh

YOUR FAVORITE

color: Blue or green
food: Anything other than okra and offal
candy: Anything by Cadbury
type of cheese: Colby cheese is yummy
pizza topping: pepperoni, but the pizza base has to be thin so that the pepperoni gets a little bit burnt and crispy. *drools*
salad dressing: 100% fat free Italian.
sandwich: Salad, but weird salad, like artichoke hearts, asparagus and alfalfa. For a start, I love the taste of it but more importantly, my kids all hate those types of salad.
cereal: I love porridge. I’ll have to get some as it’s been a while…
fruit: Oh lordy. I love fruit. Any fruit.
vegetable: All of em except okra.
berry: strawberry
cake: Chocolate Mousse cake.
book: My absolute favourite book, or in this case, books is Bio of a Space Tyrant by Piers Anthony
movie: Star Wars trilogy – the original.
magazine: Don’t read them all that often to have a favourite
newspaper: None
tv show: Dexter!!!
website: Misfitopia
radio station: 92.9 PMFM
font: Edwardian Script ITC
cartoon character: Stitch!!
artist: Not really part of the arty crowd.
actor: Will Smith. I could watch him for hours.
actress: Angelina Jolie. I could watch her for hours, too.
cd: The mixed one Geof-fuh-fuh and I made together.
song: Work (Freemason Remix) by Kelly Rowland and/or Burn the Witch by Queens of the Stone Age
music group: Hmmm… Nickelback, I guess. I have more of their songs than anyone else’s, so yeah.
music type: Anything but polka. I’m actually really starting to get a kick out of country because whenever a song comes on, Geof starts bootscooting to it, even in public. Shopping centres… the street…
day of the week: Saturday. It’s the first day after the working week and I know there’s another free day after it.
month: November.
season: Spring
holiday: Christmas
shampoo: Palmolive Naturals range. They smell heavenly.
conditioner: See previous answer.
number: Don’t really have one.
phrase: Suffering assholes. I don’t say it, but my mother does when she’s frustrated or pissed. My mother rarely uses profanity, so when she does, it’s always amusing (though we don’t dare laugh when she does).
store: Toys R Us.
weather: I like it to be hot enough to go to the beach and mild enough to not get sandblasted when I get there. This is usually in November
restaurant: The Witch’s Cauldron
channel: Channel 10. It’s the only station we can get that’s clear. I hate indoor antenna.
teacher: Mr Meagher (pronounced Mar)
weekend activity: Sleeping and Fucking.
hangout: My room
house color: Brown bricks
sport to watch: Basketball.
sport to play: Is sex a sport?
animal: Love em. I’m partial to the big cats.
flower: Geof-fuh-fuh found these blue and purple orchids that I love
guy’s name: Seth or Connor
girl’s name: Talia, Caris and Cheyenne
board game: Scrabble
party game: I don’t know what it’s called, but you have to drink, spin around with a broom over your head, drop the broom to the ground and then jump over it. I learned the hard way that it’s safer to play this on a grassed area far away from walls.
story from childhood: Sleeping Beauty
body part: eyes

HAVE YOU EVER

been on a train: Yup
been on a plane: I was on a commercial flight when I was ummmmm 4? Other than that, it’s been Caribou and Cessnas.
been in a car accident: Yes and I even caused a couple!
caused a car accident: Oh there we go… yup!
run into a wall: A few times. Don’t judge me…
burned a potato chip: Waste of a damn good potato chip, if you ask me, so no.
almost burned the house down: WTF. No?
smoked: Yup
been drunk: Mmhmm
been high: Regularly
broken the law: The answer to my last question requires me to say “yes”.
burned a cd: They’re bastards to burn… oh… the OTHER burn… sure I have. How else are you supposed to be guaranteed listening to all your favourite songs without having to hit skip?
kissed someone of the opposite sex: Every damn day. Often.
kissed someone of the same sex: Sure have. You should have seen my ex’s face when I kissed his sister…
frenched an animal: What the hell? My rat tries to crawl into my mouth. Does that count?
made out: Of course.
Been to Vegas: Nope
gotten engaged: Uh huh.
had an online relationship: Yes. Don’t do it.
been rejected by a crush: Nope.
loved: yes
made yourself cry to get out of trouble: The day that I drove into a car parked in its driveway across the road (long story), I also cracked my dad’s ribs and his face was like thunder. In about 2.6 seconds, I realised the only way I was gonna get out of it was by crying, so I did. The sound of cars crunching together early in the morning brought everyone out of their houses, including my mother who saw me crying, so she gently ushered me back into the house while dad was screaming out stuff like “you’ll never drive till you’re 90” and other things.
cried in public: God no. I’d rather poke my eyes out with rusty paperclips.
cried over a movie: yes. I was 15 and I saw Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and they played The Long and Winding Road when Peter Frampton’s girlfriend died and I cried. My sister thought it was hilarious because she’s usually the crier and she didn’t think it was sad at all.
fallen asleep in a movie theater: Yup. I was dead tired one weekend, but I had promised to take my kids and five other kids to go see the second Pokemon movie. I remember the opening credits and the first three minutes of the movie, and then the closing credits when Talia woke me. Anyone want me to babysit their kids?
given someone a bath: yes. In fact, I gave Geof-fuh-fuh a bath last night
been to a boarding school: Nope. My school was only about 2 blocks from my house.
been home-schooled: Nope.
lost a valuable item: I used to be notorious for losing purses. This was valuable because there’s usually money in the suckers.
bungee jumped: Nope. I’m scared I’ll get detached retinas.
skied: No.
met the president: The president of what? I’ve met presidents of companies. This question needs to be more specific.
met a celebrity: I once smacked Heath Ledger across the head (I was 16 at the time and he was 5, so that was kind of mean but he annoyed me), Jane Badler (Diana from “V”. Oh yes I did and no, she’s not really a lizard), Dave Faulkner from Hoodoo Gurus (he’s a Perth boy) and Danny Roberts (he’s been on McLeod’s Daughters and a shitty 80’s serial drama called Sons and Daughters) once gave me a chinese burn on my arm when we were younger.
gotten a cavity: Nuh. I’m a cavity free kid.
shopped at abercrombie & fitch: Uhhhh… no.
made a prank call: Often!!!
skipped school: Nuh. When your dad is the local cop, you tend to keep your nose clean when it comes to that sort of thing…
faked sick to get out of school: Yup. I’m lactose intolerant, so when I wanted a day off school, I’d get out of bed before my parents, drink some milk, go back to bed and be all green looking when mum came into my room to get me up for school.
purchased something that you knew didn’t fit: Oh all the time. I call them “goal garments” and I’d get a dress a couple of sizes smaller so I had something to work towards.
climbed a tree: Hell I’ve SLEPT in a tree. To get away from my sister, I’d climb a tree with a book and read up there for hours.
fallen from a tree: no.
broken a bone: Nope. Fractured my foot, but I didn’t break it.
sprained anything: Nope.
passed out: Yup.
made yourself pass out: How do you do that?
been to disney world: Nope
been to a theme park (not disney): Yeah. A water theme park called Atlantis that had dolphins, rides, etc.
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative): Uhhhh yes?
made a model volcano (working model): Yes!!!
made a shoebox planet model: Yes to this question, too. Does EVERY school do this?

PAST

what did you do yesterday: End of financial year stuff at work, went home, soaked in the tub, attempted to blitz Geof-fuh-fuh in Neopets, went to bed, watched Stargate.
memory you miss the most: The short term one.
memory you want to forget: Already forgotten
something you regretted after it was done: Marrying my ex-husband. My dad and I drove around the block twice with my dad saying “you really don’t have to do this” but I did anyway and an hour after it was done, I wish I hadn’t.

THE LAST

song you heard: Fallout Boy’s Thanks For The Memories. It’s actually just ending on the radio right now.
cd you bought: Jesus… last CD I bought was hell… it was a CD that Geof-fuh-fuh wanted, so I got it for his birthday.
thing you said: “I love you.” Geof-fuh-fuh called me singing Stevie Wonder songs.
time you cried: Ummm… When I thought Talia was dead.
movie seen in a theater: 10,000 BC. It was shit and historically incorrect, which I hate.
thing you ate: A chicken strip.
person who called: The office message bank.
nail polish shade worn: Black. Geof-fuh-fuh, Talia and I all painted our toenails. There’s a pic of our painted toes running around on this site somewhere.
time you showered: Showered? Sunday. Last night I had a bath.
person who complimented you: Apart from Geof, that would be Anthony at work. He told me that I looked very pretty in my sweater.

AT THIS MOMENT

what are you listening to: Two men bitching about work, and the radio.
what are you wearing: A green sweater with appliqué, jeans and uggs.
what are you thinking: That I wish these two men would leave because I have to do this in stops and starts so it looks like I’m doing data entry, rather than filling out this mammoth survey.
what are you scared of most: My children
how many people are on your buddy/friends list: Shit. Let me look. 38

FUTURE

occupation: Ruler of the universe
marriage site: Bentley
honeymoon: I’d honeymoon in a trash can if I knew Geof was gonna be in it too
place to live: Australia
kids: 3 plus…
car: A working one.
what are you doing tomorrow: Working
What do you volunteer for/contribute too: I contribute to some charities and myself and the girls decided to adopt a little girl in Nairobi. I’m not sure if that counts as a contribution, though…
will there be a ww III: Highly likely. Human beings can be stupid, stupid creatures.
will politics ever be truthful: Politics and truth just don’t go well together.
will humanity snuff itself out: More than likely.
can the gov. What?

FRIENDS

best friend: Geof-fuh-fuh is my best friend, Jodes is my female best friend, though lately we haven’t had much time to talk. Real life occasionally gets in the way.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

heaven: No
hell: No
angels: Only guardian ones
devil: No
God: No
buddha: Yes
aliens: Yes. After all, I am one.
ghosts: Yes
spirit (soul): Yes
soulmates: Yes
reincarnation: Yes
love at first sight: No
karma: Yes, but I’m not as devout as Sharon Stone…
love in general: Yes
luck: Yes
yourself: Yes

CRUSH

who and when was your first crush: Wayne and Brendan were my first crushes. We were all 7 and I liked them both equally. We used to play cowboys and Indians and they’d always tie me up – whether I was Indian or cowboy…
any now: Nope. What I feel for Geof isn’t a crush and I’m not interested in anyone else (apart from my answer to the next question).
a celebrity crush: Will Smith.
who do you want to be with right now: I’m missing my Geof-fuh-fuh so bad. I feel like calling him and telling him to come get me so I can get cuddles and kisses, but I know if I do call, he will. So I’m not doing it because I really do have to stay here.
whos number do you want: Will Smith’s.
who do you want to kiss: Geof-fuh-fuh.
what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex: There used to be heaps of things I didn’t understand about men. Now that I’ve met a normal man who doesn’t treat me like shit, things aren’t so much of a mystery.
if you could go on a date with anybody: I would still want to date my Geof-fuh-fuh
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you: I honestly don’t know. I guess there are things I do that would be considered romantic, but I do them to show my appreciation… maybe I’m not the one who should be answering this question.
first thing noticed about the opposite sex: Normally, I don’t. But Geof’s hair, eyes and smile caught my attention quick smart.
what do you look for personality-wise: Kindness, loyalty, trustworthiness and the ability to be open.
biggest turn on: Geof’s kisses. Rawr…
biggest turn off: Liars, bad breath and nose pickers.
something they wear that turns you on: My hands
something they wear that turns you off: Nothing, actually.
the most romantic thing you want to happen to you: It already is.
the most romantic thing that has happened to you: Geof surprising me with flowers at work on a day that I was feeling low. That he hand delivered them got him extra brownie points.
what do you wear on a coffee date: What the hell is a coffee date? Probably jeans and a top.
is it right to flirt if you’re taken: I think that flirting is very healthy, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not. Whether you want to admit it or not, other people finding your partner attractive can do wonders for the relationship. Having said that, if anyone went too far with Geof, I’d be tearing their face off and then making them eat it with their toothless mouth.
is cyber cheating: Yes, it is. Discussing sexual things in a graphic manner in a one on one situation, when that other “one” isn’t your partner is cheating.
are eyes the passageway to the soul: Yes, I think they are.
who would you like to take to the prom: Archie, Jughead and the rest of the crazy gang…
do you want to hug somebody right now: Yes, my Geof-fuh-fuh
do you know what an aphrodisiac is: Yes. Do you?

DESCRIBE

mellow: Donovan would probably be able to describe this better than I.
melancholy: An interesting soup when you mix watermelon with cauliflower.
the perfect date: August 16, 2008
the perfect mate: The person who thinks that even your imperfections are what make you perfect for them.
how m&m’s are made: Charlatans stole Smarties and stamped M’s on them.
why manhole covers are round: So people don’t fall in. Oddly, I wanted to know the answer to this question a few years back so I checked. The round shape is the only shape that ensures that something or other blah blah blah. It sounded valid at the time.

ONE OR THE OTHER

coke/pepsi: Coke
sprite/7-up: Sprite
boxers/briefs: Boxers
gold/silver: Gold
vanilla/chocolate: Chocolate
flowers/candy: Flowers. The kids steal the candy.
book/magazine: Book
tv/radio: TV
glass half empty/half full: Half full
democrat/republican: What?
colored pencils/markers: Markers (if you colour over the marker with pencil, it makes the picture feel soft and velvety when you touch it)
coffee/tea: Tea
sun/moon: Ooooo…. I’ll say moon
day/night: Ummmm…. Night.
hot/cold: Hot
dog/cat: Cat
button/zipper: Zipper (easier to undo with your teeth)
cotton/feather pillow: Cotton
blue/purple: Blue
plumber/trashman: What the fuck?
jeans/shorts: Jeans
long distance relationship/none: None
mechanical/regular pencil: Mechanical
matt/ben: Lesbianism
that 70’s show/ Ashton/kelso/eric: What the hell. Did the person who made this survey run out of stuff? Eric
donna/jackie: Donna
bart/lisa: Lisa
romeo/juliet: Romeo
romantic comedy/thriller: Thriller
nsync/bsb: Boy bands? Fucking boy bands????
peanut butter/jelly: Jam (jelly)
waffles/pancakes: Waffles
letter/email: Email. Screw having to wait for stuff.
florida/california: California
pizza/burgers: Burgers
hat/visor: Hat. A visor here will get you nothing but a sunburnt head and ears.
football/rugby: Rugby. A girl’s gotta have her bloodsports.
iceskating/blading: Iceskating
movie at home/in theater: At home

FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR

yellow: Daffodils
red lipstick: Hard dick
socks: shoes
cowtipping: Americans
moulin rouge: Baz Luhhrman (or however the hell you spell it)
greenland: Paul Simon. (I know it’s Graceland, but the song popped in my head and I was singing “I’m going to Greenland, Greenland”… shut up)
iceland: LOL Paul Simon again. “I’m going to Iceland, Iceland”. Someone shoot me.
harry potter: JK Rowling is a lying, cheating plagiarist.
red: Blood
blackberry: Pie
rose: Red
rooster: Red Rooter. We have fast food chicken franchises called Red Rooster and some smartass has climbed on the roof of the one nearest to us and taken the “s” away.
taxes: July. (July is the beginning of the new financial year in Australia)
bill clinton: Married to a man.
whipped cream: Sex
george w. bush: Fucktarded ass hat
lollipops: Sex
dreams: Sleep
love: Family
guys: perennial little boys
south park: Basketball
boy bands: Suck
penguins: My initial thought was that penguins was not spelled “pengiuns”. Now that I’ve corrected it, my thoughts are of “the” Chad.
girls: Little bitches. I ought to know. I have three of em.
thong: Americans have it all wrong.
death: Inevitable
spoons: Geof in bed.
junk mail: Death to companies that send that shit
dairy: Queen
panties: Stupidest word, ever. People who use this word sound like deranged 6 year olds.
your father: The best
pizza: Pepperoni Special
britney spears: Unfairly treated
vitamin: Blow jobs

ARE YOU

happy: Yes, I am
sad: Occasionally
religious: Not even close
bitchy: Push my buttons and you won’t know what hit you.
crazy: Definitely
messy: My nickname should be PigPen.
mad: Be the mother of my children. See how mad you get
slacker: I can be.
nerd: Geof and I have discussed Star Trek AND Star Wars. I’m a huge nerd.
bookworm: Yup
jock: Not anymore
preppy: Not even close
selfish: Ocasionally
giving: Of course
obsessive: Only about some things.
violent: When pushed.
calm: For the most part.
peaceful: Yes
mellow: Yes
eccentric: I can be a little.
caring: Yeah
untrustworthy: No
loyal: To the people who deserve it.
patriotic: LOL
perverted: Yup
colorful: You could say that.
artistic: Nope. Not an artistic bone in my body.

MISCELLANEOUS

what color is your jacket: Not wearing one.
do you shave: I prefer to Veet…
Bath: Last night!
what color is your razor: Purple and white.
what size is your bed: I have a queen size bed, but the mattress is getting lumpy, so I’m currently on a double sized futon.
what color crayon would you be: Purple. With glitter.
what are the last four digits of you phone number: 2019
feelings on abortion: Not for me, but I don’t judge those who have one.
how long does it take you to shower: 10 to 15 minutes. I love the water and I’d stay in there for ages, given the choice, which is why I love baths.
what does your screenname mean: My original name was Debosophy, but the ass hat who stole my gmail account cancelled it, so now it’s Debosofi. I just liked the sound of it…
thoughts on blonde pop stars in general: Couldn’t really give a shit what colour their hair is so long as they can turn it on when it comes to performing.
who do you trust the most: Geof-fuh-fuh, without hesitation and without question.
is cussing a necessity in life: Yes. Sometimes the non-cussing words simply don’t convey the absolute pissed offedness a person experiences that a cuss word can.
how about coffee: No thanks. I just had a red bull and that’s my caffeine quota filled till 2015.
is the world screwed: Without a doubt. I recommend mass extinction for the human species, post haste.
what something you cant live without: Oxygen
what time did you fall asleep: Didn’t check the clock, but it was late.
Favorite thing you have: Computer
Do you cook: Yup.
can you live without a microwave: I didn’t even have a microwave till a couple of years ago and I rarely use it anyway. You don’t even know what that shit is doing to you.
what do think about death: I don’t. It’s inevitable and you’re wasting your life away when you obsess about it. I’m very sucky at death because it looks like I don’t care when a person dies, but I do, just not the way most of the population views it.
where and when do you want to be married: Who cares and tomorrow, but I’m being good and waiting.
do you want to drop out of school: Oh yeah. Sure. Mmhmm. Right now…
why is the sky blue: Rayleigh scattering.
what is a good trait about yourself: I don’t know. Ask Geof because he’s the one who’s stuck with me.
what do you always think about: Apart from my loved ones, nothing.
what is wrong with your school: It no longer has me in it, muah hahahaha
what is right with your school: Who gives a shit? It’s been 25 years.
how do you react to change: With barely a whimper.
do you talk to yourself: Yup. I answer myself occasionally, too.
what is your opinion on love: People fall into it way too easily.
can you afford to lose weight: Oh definitely. I could lose an Olsen twin if I had the inclination.
what color would you dye your hair: A darker colour. It’s currently black, so I can’t get much darker than that.
best thing anyone’s told you: I can’t discuss this because it was a conversation between Geof and I, and it’s not right to answer this. The important thing is I made a difference.
what is your reaction to someone telling you you’re hot: I laugh, because I’m really not.
does being psycho appeal to you: Absolutely!!!
if you wrote a book, what would it be about: I really don’t know. I’m a fan of science fiction, so probably something along those lines.
what would you change your name to: Mrs Fairhurst
longest crush lasted how long: My crush on Mr Meagher lasted three years.

Erika Will Love This

Jun 30, ‘08 11:23 AM

Yes!!! It’s another survey and as soon as I saw the first question, I knew that not only would I want to answer it, but so would Erika.

This was yoinked from Billytheclam, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart

would you kill your neighbor?
I don’t even know my new neighbours. I had one neighbour who used to annoy the shit out of me, so we had more of a psychological warfare… I’ll have to blog about that sometime!

what are two words that describe your last fight?
same old. I was fighting with Talia about her lack of respect

what were you doing ten minutes ago?
Smoking

what’s the last movie you saw?
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Geof-fuh-fuh and I watched it, in bed, last night.

what did your last text message say?
My last text message was forever ago when I actually had the sucker on and charged up and it was an I love you text from Geof.

who have you talked to most today?
Geof-fuh-fuh. If I had answered this in the afternoon, it would have been Peter, so I’m glad I’m doing this now!

do you carve pumpkins every year?
Only into pieces for cooking.

color of your shirt?
I’m wearing a sweater that’s primarily white, burgandy and grey.

who is on speed dial 2?
No one. I hate using speed dial so I dial every number in full.

whats your favorite season?
Spring

how are you feeling right now?
Nervous. I’m doing the financial end of year and back in December, I had questions and no one would answer it adequately and I was pushed from pillar to post, so I left it. Shit isn’t going to balance on paper, though it balances in real life and I’ll be expecting a visit from the auditor. So I’m kind of past caring, but nervous, too.

What did you do this weekend?
Not an awful lot. Most of it was spent in bed with Geof, being lazy

how many times have you moved?
Jesus… tons of times. I couldn’t even tell you a ballpark figure.

what is the last thing you touched?
My keyboard…

would you do anything for someone else?
Depends on what the “anything” is and who the “someone” is. Been burned too many times to just say “yes” to everything.

have you ever been called a punk?
Hmmm… I don’t have any recollection of being called a punk to my face. Behind my back? Who knows!

was yesterday better than today?
God yes. It’s fucking Monday, today.

what is your ring tone?
A normal ringing noise. I know… weird, huh.

do you have a favorite number?
I don’t have a favourite number, though I liked Billy’s “42″.

if you could meet anyone who would it be?
If a machete was allowed into the meeting, George W Bush. If not, then Stephen Hawking because his robotic voice amuses me.

how old will you be in 2 months?
40 years and one month old

do you think you’ll be married by then?
Wedding is in 6 weeks, so I’ll say YES

are you a lost fanatic?
I’m not a fanatic. I’ve only seen ummmm 6 episodes of Season 4 and I’m not really in a rush to catch up.

say you were given a drug test right now…..would you pass?
Nope. Wrote myself off last night so I’d get a big ass F on that paper

have you ever been to south america or africa?
No, but I would love to, eventually…

do you know how to knit?
Yup. I can crochet too

do you have a job?
Yes, I am gainfully employed.

is there anything currently bothering you?
Yeah…

what are you doing right now besides this survey?
Pretending to look busy so no one notices I’m filling out this survey.

do you know how to play poker?
No. I’ve tried, but I just. don’t. get. it…

baskin robbins or coldstone?
Neither. Not really much of an ice cream kinda person…

physics or chemistry?
I loved chemistry at high school. I can, even now, remember my periodic table.

fly or road trip?
I actually don’t mind going for long drives in the car.

batman, spiderman, superman, tanner vineyard, or shalayna hatcher?
Who the fuck are Tanner Vineyard and Shalayna Hatcher? I’ll say Superman, even though I don’t understand the question.

what are your plans for tonight?
Go home, dinner, soak in the tub, snuggle up to Geof-fuh-fuh for more movie madness.

Erika Unlocked Her Quiz Chastity Belt….

Jun 24, ‘08 1:33 PM

and came up with this gem!!!

1) Are you an Aunt/Uncle?
I am the proud aunty of three girls (Quiggles, Freckles and Mitherall) and two boys (Bear and Benry (his name is really Henry, but my sister is into Lost)). They’re all cats.

2) Something you can’t live without?
My cigarettes. No one around me can live without them, either

3) Do you eat vegetables regularly?
Yes. I love love love my vegetables to the point that I have decided I want a vegetable garden.

4) Why did you last throw up?
This was the reason why I threw up the last time.

5) What member of the opposite sex do you talk with the most?
Geof-fuh-fuh, of course

6) What is the weather like right at this very moment?
It’s actually really sunny and lovely. More like spring than winter…

7) What is something that you can’t wait for?
August 16th I’m gettin’ hitched!!!

How many times have you been to Canada?
Never.

9) Have you ever had a reptile as a pet?
Yes. I used to have a racehorse goanna in a cage in my backyard. He was injured so I only intended to keep him till he was better. I kept him a little longer than that, till the day my ex thought Beep Beep had escaped, opened his cage and Beep Beep bounded out of the cage like a man with his ass on fire. Six people dropped to the ground like it was staged, but we were actually quite frightened as racehorse goannas have very sharp nails and it’s not uncommon for them to run up the tallest thing in their surroundings. None of us wanted to be the tallest “thing”. As it was, he ran up a tree, over the back fence and into the neighbour’s yard – never to be seen again.

10) What’s your favorite fruit?
Rockmelon or Honeydew Melon.

11)Who is the last missed call on your cell phone?
Would probably be my mum because even though I’ve told her I never charge it or use it, she still calls the bloody thing occasionally.

12) Where are you most ticklish?
I am ticklish EVERYWHERE. Ankles would probably be the most ticklish, if I have to be specific.

13) How many hours a week do you normally work?
38 hours a week.

14) Who’s the best kisser you’ve ever kissed?
Geof is the best kisser I’ve ever had the pleasure of kissing. He makes my toes curl and the fact that my toes curl still amuses me.

15) Do you have deep dark secrets?
Yes, I do. I can’t divulge them because otherwise I’d have to kill you all and I don’t want that on my conscience.

16) When was the last time you were sick?
Ummm I’ve not had a sick day in about a year and a half. I get the occasional migraine and some days I feel a bit off, but not enough to stay home.

17) What color is your parent’s car?
It’s a really nice, soft metallic green. Hard to describe, but it’s more a silvery green, I guess…

18) When’s the last time you had a deep conversation?
I seem to have a knack for having deep conversations all the time. I had one this morning…

19) Have you ever gotten caught sneaking out?
Yeah back when I was 15. Mum and dad changed the curtains in my room to venetian blinds that crackled and made all kinds of stupid noises even when you did nothing but LOOK at it. After that, I used the door in the games room which was at the opposite end of the house.

20) Did you ever try running away from home when you were younger?
Yes and no. Don’t laugh, but I wasn’t allowed to cross the road on my own, so when I ran away, I walked the block and then hid under the house for a few hours. I was six.

21) What makes you the happiest?
Lots of things make me happy. I couldn’t point to just one thing.

22) Where do you want to be right now?
In bed with Geof-fuh-fuh. I want cuddles.

23) Have you finished a Rubik’s cube?
Making three kids from scratch is quicker than solving the Rubik’s cube, so I did that in lieu of the cube.

24) When was the last time you rode a bike?
Uhhhh… a couple of years ago. Unless you count the time I rode Cheyenne’s bike – she was 8 at the time so you can imagine the size of the bike…

25) Do you have any vacation plans for this summer?
Nope. Although Bali is on the cards…

26) Where were you 1 hr ago?
At work…

27) Do you kiss a lot of people?
I come from a kissy family. I kiss mum and dad and my sister “hi” and “bye” and the girls and Geof get kisses, too. Naturally… I kiss Geof’s mum hello and goodbye, too.

28) Are you wearing socks right now?
Nope. Just my uggs. Socks slide off when I wear them with uggs and I end up with them bunched up at my toes and I hate that.

29) When was the last time you went out of state?
Technically, I’m out of state now. I was born on the other side of Australia.

30) Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Nope, but I’ve seen parts of Kung Fu Panda, Don’t Mess With The Zohan and the new Indiana movie.

31) what was the last thing you had to drink?
The can of Coke I’m still drinking!

32) What are you wearing right now?
Nothing… No. Seriously, I’m wearing jeans, uggs and a sky blue sweater.

33) What was your last thing you bought?
I bought new blankets and stuff for my itches.

34) If you were going to get a body piercing, where would you get it?
I wouldn’t mind getting my navel done again…

35) Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls?
I think that adults should stop putting adult concept on childrens’ toys. Playing with Barbie, as a little girl, did not make me want to grow up to be big breasted and tiny waisted. Nor did it ever make me think I was only good for “girl jobs” seeing as I applied to be a police officer – hardly feminine… Grown ups need to back the fuck off.

36) Do you want to go out with your best friend?
Ummm… like in a romantic sense? Jodie once told me that if she ever decided to be bi, she’d get me to introduce her to the world of lesbianism, but the chances of that ever happening are slim to none, and I’m real glad about that.

37)Where do you want to go out to?
Just outside in the sun would suffice for right now.

38) Where did/do you attend high school?
Belmont Senior High School. It was pretty rough there when I was going, but it’s much better now, apparently…

39) Do you like mornings?
I love mornings, and I love the night time too. People hate me for my ability to be both a morning person and a night owl.

40) Last television program you watched?
Big Brother 08. Please don’t tell anyone.

41) Spell your name with no vowels.
dbrhlnnhddrll.

42) Does your neighbor have an animal that annoys you?
No… I think that WE’RE the annoying neighbours who have the loud animals.

43) Does your family own a boat?
No, but that is subject to change within the next few years. I like being on the water.

44) Can you do a cartwheel?
Yes. It’s especially fun when halfway through the cartwheel, your sweater falls up, pools in front of your face and one boob falls out of your bra.

45) Do you wear flip flops constantly?
Nope. Not much of a flip flop person unless it’s summer and I’m home.

46) Do you have air conditioning in your room?
I’m not sure. I’ll have to check as we only just moved in there and it’s winter. As you can see, I’m a real stickler for details and I’m very aware of my home environment. Not…

47) Where were you when 9/11 happened??
Online, in Australia, and reading what my friends in the US were writing about it.

48) Would you ever get your nipples pierced?
Only if I could wear brass knuckles and punch the piercer in the face first.

50 Things About Me

Jun 6, ‘08 2:01 PM

Yoinked this from Brian. Go check out his answer to 23. I’m still laughing my ass off at it.

1. Did you have a nickname growing up?
Yup. Several, but my favourite was Mouth from the South – and it wasn’t for talking

2. Where were your parents born?
In hospitals.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Ummmm… I think it was The Forbidden Kingdom.

4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
The Witch’s Cauldron. They have barramundi and sizzling garlic prawns to die for.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
Summer just gone. Quite frankly, I prefer the ocean.

6. Have you ever been in a play?
Yuh huh. I used to be all thespian when I was younger.

7. How many children do you want?
Courtesy dictates that I say “at least three” seeing as I have three…

8. Type of music you dislike most?
Polka

9. Are you registered to vote?
Yes

10. Do you have cable?
We don’t have cable, we have satelite, and I got rid of that last year. All they had on it was crap, more crap and repeated crap.

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Yes. I was 16 and I was trying on a friends moped for size and I remember he said that it was the safest thing I’d ever have between my legs, and he was right.

12. Ever prank call anybody?
I’ve prank called so many people that I couldn’t even begin to count how many people I’ve prank called. My friend and I would stay up late Saturday night drinking and then around 4am, I’d call random numbers and ask them about the advertisement they had in Sundays paper.

Good times.

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Back when I was 17 and parked in an area I wasn’t supposed to. Everything after that was for speeding

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Fuck, no

15. Furthest place you ever traveled?
Technically, Western Australia. I was born in New South Wales, Australia (the other side of the country)

16. Do you have a garden?
Does a deadish one count?

17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
I used to be a fan of the Archie comic books. My favourite comic strip would have to be Alien Loves Predator.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Yes, and I even know what “girt” means.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower in the morning (if I’m not running late). Shower at night, followed by a long soak in the bath

20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
Definitely The Forbidden Kingdom. Jackie Chan and Jet Li corroborating on a movie has been my fantasy movie for years.

21. Favorite pizza topping?
Pepperoni, and lots of it. Preferably on a thin based pizza so that the pepperoni comes out half burnt and crunchy *drools like Homer with donuts*

22. Chips or popcorn?
Popcorn!

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
I don’t like lipstick, so I outline my lips with a plum lipliner and then just toss on a lipgloss with 857984375 conditioners in it. Viva la soft lips without all that jammy shit on em!!!

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Why the hell would I want to do that? Am I missing out on something?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No, but I DID win a wet t-shirt competition at a bikie’s festival.

26. Orange Juice or apple?
Orange. Apple juice looks like urine.

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
Usually when I go out to dinner, it’s a family affair. Geof-fuh-fuh will have to pull his finger out and take me somewhere on our own. The place we dined was at Sizzler and it was for Caris’s birthday in April.

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
It’s a toss up between Cadbury’s Flake and Fry’s Turkish Delight.

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
Last year for our federal election.

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
February. Geof’s mum was growing cherry tomatoes, but they were freaken MASSIVE. Tasted bloody great, too.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
When I played netball, I got a few trophies. I’ve got no freaken clue where they are now, though…

32. Are you a good cook?
Apparently, I’m a great cook. I love it when new people say “I don’t like…” and I cook it and they eat it. Geof told me right from the start that he doesn’t really like soup, but guess what he eats now… heh heh heh

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Doesn’t everyone? It’s not rocket science…

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
Yes. Once. Never again

35. Sprite or 7-up?
Neither. It’s coke or nothing!!!

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Several times.

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
The morning after pill, for Talia. Damn those busted condoms…

38. Ever throw up in public?
LOL yeah… I’ve thrown up ON public, too

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Both. Thanks. Is the cheque in the mail? I’ve already got the other part of this question organised.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in lust at first sight. You can’t really love someone you don’t know.

41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
Yes, but 1900 numbers here are totally different to what this is referring to.

42. Can ex’s be friends?
Not at first, but it is achievable eventually. It amuses me when people break up with their partner and straight away, they say “we’ll still be friends”. If that’s the case, why did you break up?

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
I think it was my dad.

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
I was bald. With a squiffy eye. And a mole on my head…

45. What message is on your answering machine?
Nothing. I don’t have an answering machine.

46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
I haven’t watched SNL in forever.

47. What was the name of your first pet?
Smoochie. He was a chocolate burmese pussycat

48. What is in your purse/wallet that is unusual?
Uhhh… *looks* I have a piece of lizard skin that one of the girls gave me for good luck. I guess this only works on humans as the lizard wasn’t all that lucky… Going on the same theme, my purse has a alligator on the front of it. He wasn’t lucky either. I should get a pic.

I SHOULD GET A PIC!!! *everyone pause here while I grab my camera, take a pic of my purse, upload it and then put it directly under this sentence*

Side view, because it’s raised and stuff

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Geof-fuh-fuh and I put a movie on and watch it while we snuggle up in bed. It’s my most favourite time of the day

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
It’s Friday and that means no work for two days and I get to sleep in, if I want to.

Guy has writer’s block…

Jun 3, ‘08 3:19 PM

Since the block started, he’s done 51 revolutions around the stellar mass named Sol and he likes reading, movies, camping, dogs, the state of quantum particles and he also likes to do these quiz thingos when he has writer’s block.

Thanks Guy!!!

1. What is your favorite quote or inspirational thought?
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” Sam Keen, from To Love and Be Loved.

Before anyone goes all gooey or anything, I don’t even have a favourite quote, so I googled “best quote ever” and clicked onto http://boardofwisdom.com. Yes… I cheated. Sue me.

2. If you had one wish or fantasy come true…what would you want it to be?
I’d be a super hero with the same powers as Superman (without the whole “oh you get very very sick or you could DIE from Kryptonite” problems) but I would also have breasts that defy gravity and perfect hair.

3. What body part do you love about yourself and what body part that would love to change?
I love my plump vulva (none of you will get this, but when I read the question it reminded me of a rant I blogged about a couple of years ago. I might have to try and find it.) The body part I would love to change is my left knee. It’s doing that “hey you’re getting oooooooooold” clicking thingy when I sit down and stand up.

4. What are your (3) most hated things in life?
a) People who feel it necessary to sneakily spy on me when they should know that all they have to do is ask – if you need to spy, then the problem is with you, buddy.
b) People who make me doubt myself and things around me – I know I’m smarter than this shit and I know what I see.
c) People who lack self accountability and blame others for their stupidity – if you spill hot coffee on yourself, it’s your fault because you were retarded enough to put hot coffee between your legs. If you eat fast food that’s soaked in fat and carbohydrates and you end up looking like Oprah during her bad years, don’t blame the fast food restaurants for your obesity, blame yourself for your lack of self control and your lack of knowledge with foods that are good or bad for you. If you drill a hole in your head and blame the manufacturer because there was nothing on the drill to say not to put it near your head while you were using it, then you’re just a fucktard.

5. What is your most erotic area of your body?
When it comes to eroticism, my body is an equal opportunity employer.

6. What is your favorite color, food, and number?
Blue or green, hard to pick just one, don’t have a favourite number

7. Name three songs and artist that represent you…your life and feelings:
God I hate doing this, so I’m not going to. After spending 4 years with an emotionally stunted person who couldn’t profess how they felt, but directed me to song lyrics to show how he felt, I’m all over songs and their representations…

8. If you were an animal…what type would you be and why?
A cat. I’d get the cuddles and love when I wanted it, and I’d be left alone when I wanted to be left alone.

9. If you were a food or drink…what kind would you be and why?
I would be a hard baked biscuit ball with an ambrosia centre. An absolute bastard to get into, but once you do, I’m hard to put down

10. If you were an automobile,which one would it be and why?
A 1972 VW Superbug. Funky, fun, reliable and low maintenance. Oh yeah… and it sounds funny when it runs!!!

11. If you could only describe yourself with one word…what would it be?
Hopeful

12. What are your three top goals in the next (5) years?
The perfect pizza crust, cure cancer and AIDS, then world domination.

13. What are 3 things about you…that people would never guess?
a) I cry every time I watch ET. When you think he’s dead and Eliot is crying and shit, I start bawling, even though I know he’s going to live.
b) One time, I was involved in something on the computer and the kids were pissing me off so I yelled out “that’s it!!! You’re all on ignore” and they laughed at me.
c) I’m currently wearing jeans with no underwear.

Yoinkage – unknown…

May 30, ‘08 2:35 PM

I can’t remember who I stole this from.

I copied it a couple of days ago and usually I get the corresponding link, but this time I didn’t so if it’s from you, my apologies.

Anyone wishing to complain about the number of surveys I’ve been doing recently, please PM me on here so I can tell you to fuck off. With love…

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
Yup, but the only one I’ve ever liked is the one I have now.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
Uhhh… I was married for 12 years. With him for 14…

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Stuff from mum and dad when they came back from Thailand.

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
I rarely touch one, so I’d have to say no.

5. WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
I try to avoid exercise. It makes me tired.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
My children.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Two bites of a hamburger at lunch time. I wasn’t as hungry as I should have been.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Teeth.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
Currently, it’s Kelly Rowland’s Work, but the Freemason remix.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
In a house.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Belmont Senior High school

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
Don’t have one.

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Ummmm… Millers. My mum works there so I get a 40% discount

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
I worked for the government for 7 years.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
I tread on dice with alarming regularity. My girls have tons of them

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?
Not anymore

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Sheesh… ummmm… I honestly can’t remember. I think it might have been a friend of mine. I was the matron of honour.

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU’D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Jodie. Family would know first, of course…

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
Oh it’s been a while now. She lives on the other side of Australia and she gets around a LOT… just not back over here.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Wok in a Box

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
I love you

23. WHERE’S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
At my house!

24. CAN YOU COOK?
Yes, and well – so I’ve been told…

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
Ford Festiva

26. BEST KISSER:
Geof-fuh-fuh is so damn good at it that my toes curl when he kisses me.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
The day Talia disappeared.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Okra, brains and lamb’s fry.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My ability to forgive.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
my ex’s.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
Most of my jobs have been 9 to 5 or 8 to 4, so no long shifts for me.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
I love a lot of movies. My current favourite movie is The Forbidden Kingdom.

34. CAN YOU SING?
Yes, but I don’t sing very often.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
The one Cheyenne put on for me a few weeks back.

36. LAST KISS?
At lunch time. Geof-fuh-fuh and his mum popped in to say hi.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
Why rent when you have the Internet?

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
My handbag. It’s got everything in it that I need.

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT:
I don’t have one.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?
Both. Geof has the laptop, I have the desktop.

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
I like a lot of comedians, but I don’t have a favourite.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
I’ve never checked.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
Oh god without. I hate wearing things to bed.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
Geof-fuh-fuh and sometimes we even get to share with one of the cats

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Only if both people are honest. More often than not, one is a bullshitting lying asshole and it all goes to shit. No, I’m not bitter…

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
More times than I can remember. I have a lead foot…

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Those are breakfast things and I avoid breakfast. My stomach rebels at even the thought of food.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Yeah. I can take it or leave it, in all honesty. I had a cup of coffee for the first time in three years a few weeks ago and I thought “yeah, that’s nice…” but I’ve not had another one since.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I like toad in the hole. You get an egg cup and poke two holes in a piece of bread. Toss the bread into a pan with hot oil and then you crack two egg yolks (and some of the white, even though I hate it) into the holes and then splash the hot oil over the bread till the eggs are cooked. The toast goes all crunchy and it’s yum. People rarely cook eggs right and I hate it when the albumen is all runny and it looks like snot.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
I like to listen to my stars, but I have a hard time believing that one twelfth of the population is going to experience the exact same thing on one particular day. I prefer tarot cards. More personal…

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Geof-fuh-fuh. He has rearranged our bedroom and put something in there as a surprise. I hope it’s a stripper’s pole.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Don’t use a mobile phone, so I don’t have any missed calls

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED?
Well it’s been a while since I used the mobile phone I eventually got, but the last message would have been from Geof.

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS:
Six. Three for Geof and three for me. I had another 2, but the girls stole them.

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Jeans, sweater and uggs.
.
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
My days of lyric picking are, thankfully, over. Pick your own damn lyrics.

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
We don’t mess up the taste of peanut butter (we call it peanut paste) over here with jelly (jam!!!) so I don’t have an answer for this.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
Yeah, but I’m no great contender for The Color Of Money.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?
I am a fish

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Choc chip mint.

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
No, not really. Unless you count the map of Tassie (I think only Aussies will get this)

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I’ve been bitten by a bug on the wrist and I’m phobic about my wrists. In bed, they have to be covered with a sheet and I hate my wrists being open and exposed, like I’m afraid someone is going to walk along and cut them, or something. Now I’ve been bitten by a bug and I see the swelling and it’s right over a blue vein and ugh.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
Several. Over-rated.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?:
spring and autumn (fall, for the heathens)

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?:
An email I got yesterday comes to mind, first, but I see stupid shit all the time and I laugh.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?:
5.10am

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
My winters are really mild. It gets a little chilly at night, but there are no major weather upsets and there’s no snow.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
Ummmmmm I can’t remember, but it was some time last year.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Smooch, a cat.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
I think about pirates about as much as I think about clowns.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??:
Getting laid. Resting. Reading.

78. BIRTHDATE:
16 July

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
A fire truck

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Nope. Desktop at work.

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
Are you running out of questions?

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW:
Yup. I miss Geof-fuh-fuh. It’s the only downside to working.

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?:
Egypt

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
No. I’m at work. School was 25 years ago.

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
Uh… no. Did a kid write these questions?

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?:
Slartibartfast.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
Black bikini top with black board shorts… so, I guess, black!

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
Jesus wept…

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
No. People with jobs don’t get to vacation a whole lot because the job won’t let them.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
No. I like to fly

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?:
Yes. And no… you can’t have her.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
I live in a one storey house, so… no. Because that would put me on the roof.

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
Yes. With the super sexy Geof-fuh-fuh

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Yes, I have been a few times.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Geof-fuh-fuh. I need snuggles STAT!

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?:
Engagement ring, toe ring and ear rings.

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?:
Look busy for an hour and a half

Just when you thought it was safe to read blogs…

May 27, ‘08 10:44 AM

A MEME!!!

Yoinked from Guy.

1) What is the most revolting thing in your fridge right now?
Three snails that died. Cheyenne wants to bury them, but not while it’s raining, so we’re… storing them…

2) Ever smoked pot?
Once or twice… (waits to be smited for lying).

3) Ever eaten a quart of ice cream in one sitting?
I don’t know what a “quart” is in Australian measurements, but I probably have…

4) Most embarrassing childhood memory?
I was born a clutz, so there really isn’t one instance that I can pinpoint that was the most embarrassing.

5) Most stupid thing you have ever done?
Ummm… Getting married to my ex in the first place would be a good place to start.

6) Closest friend?
Jack. He probably knows me better than anyone.

7) Number of relationships?
Relationships – not many. A few, but not many.

Dream job?
I’m working it baaaaaaaby.

9) Biggest fashion faux pas?
Anything from the 80’s.

10) Favourite recent memory?
The sex I had this morning

11) Fake tan or sunbed?
What’s this sunbed bullshit? You tan when you walk out to get your mail, here.

12) How many times have you crashed your car?
I was crashed INTO in the car I have now. I smashed mum and dad’s car twice, when I was a learner driver

13) Are you superstitious?
No. *Turns in a circle twice, quacks like a duck, throws salt over the shoulder and settles into the chair*

14) Most revolting habit?
I don’t have any revolting habits.

15) What was your teenage rebellion?
Smoking, drinking, doing pot and hanging out at bikie’s lairs. I don’t like to do things half way…

16) Wax or shave?
I Veet. Why shave or wax when you can cream?

17) Unusual skills?
I can type while placing the keyboard on top of my head. I have other unusual skills, but you’ll have to ask Geof what those are

18) Celebrity crush?
Will Smith

19) Any regrets?
Nope, not a one. I have had regrets, but I usually work them out so that they become part of the learning curve, rather than something that has the potential to hold back my personal growth.

20) Does size matter?
Depends on what you’re talking about.

More Stuff

May 26, ‘08 12:25 PM

Yoinked from Guy who stole it off a whole bunch of people!

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Apparently Barbara Stanwyck, Ginger Rogers, Fatboy Slim and Will Ferrell share my birthday. How about that…

2.Where was your first kiss?
My first kiss was on my lips. The lips on my face, that is. If you mean geography where, it was behind my mother’s clean sheets on her washing line with a boy called Simon. We were four.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property?
I wrote WHORE in weed killer on my neighbour’s lawn when I moved house. In my defence, she pissed me off and she really was a whore. $150 for a half hour!!!

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Is a frog’s ass water tight?

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
More times than I can remember.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Teeth.

7. What really turns you on?
Geof-fuh-fuh strutting around in my heels singing Dolly Parton songs.

Okay… so I’m kidding.

8. What do you order at Starbucks?
What’s a Starbucks?

9. What is your biggest mistake?
There’s not enough time or space to answer this question.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Ummmm no?

11. Say something totally random about yourself.
Fnargle schweek mana drooooip Deb.

Doesn’t get more random than that…

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yeah, but thankfully this doesn’t happen as much as it used to. I prefer to look like me.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
Yes. I have an 8 year old who lets me watch cartoons with her.

14. Did you have braces?
Nope, never needed them.

15. Are you comfortable with your height?
I am, yes… I love being tall.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Geof turning up with flowers and a smile when I’ve had a really bad day. He thinks of me all the time and it’s appreciated.

17. When do you know it’s love?
You just know.

18. Do you speak any other languages?
Not really. I’m still trying to grasp english

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
I live in Australia. What the hell would I need a tanning salon for?

20. What magazines do you read?
Don’t.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
A couple of times, yeah. Quite frankly it’s over-rated because to me, a car is a car is a car.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Lots of people.

23. Do you watch mtv?
Uhhhh no. Never

24. What’s something that really annoys you?
Children who sit next to you and tap your arm for no apparent reason. Cheyenne was doing this last night and I wondered how long I would get in prison for ripping her head off and frisbeeing it across the street.

25. What’s something you really like?
Dried beef and brie cheese.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson?
I’ve never eaten it, so I wouldn’t know.

27. Can you dance?
I can do the “I need the potty” dance really well and I think I might have even invented a few new steps.

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up?
When I first logged onto the Internet, I was up forrrrrrr 6 days and 7 nights, I think it was. I started to hallucinate after a few days so it was great fun!

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
A few times, yes.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Yeah. Then I read their answers again when I’m filling it out for myself

32 Questions About Someone

May 23, ‘08 9:49 AM

I yoinked this quiz from Erika and thought I’d do it, but the questions kind of all get mixed up. It starts off as a quiz about me, then it asks questions that include someone else and blah.

Still… I have answered the best way I could, do with it what you will…

1) are you currently in a serious relationship?.
Yup I am. With Geof-fuh-fuh

2) what was your dream growing up?
To be a Charlie’s Angel or a firetruck.

3) what talent do u wish you had.
I’m happy with the talents that I have, but seeing as this is a wish thing, I’ll say……. the ability to turn water into tequila.

4) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?.
I’m assuming that this is Erika asking me, so… at the moment, I’m into Crazy Mexicans and Vivezos, so one of them.

5) favourite vegetable?.
All of them. I love all my vegetables apart from Okra. I opened up a semi-cooked frozen okra once and it looked like snot with seeds in it and it put me off for life. Yukko.

6) what was the last book you read?.
The last book I read was You Have Male, can’t remember the author’s name but it was a forgettable book. I’m currently reading Stephen King’s Duma Key and it’s a much better read.

7) what zodiac sign are you?
Cancer, baby.

any tattoos and /or piercings ?
Yes. I’ve got a tat over my right breast and one on my lower back and my ears are pierced. I had my navel pierced twice and I’m thinking about getting it done again.

9) worst habit.
You’ll have to ask Geof-fuh-fuh the answer to this one.

10) If you saw me walking down street. would you offer me ride?.
Only if you had the latest AI update. Otherwise, you can walk

11) what is your favorite sport.
Sex! And lots of it.

12) do you have a negative or optimistic attitude?.
Realistic with tinges of optimism.

13) what would you do if you where stuck in an elevator with me?.
Start talking back to the voices in my head. What would YOU do if I did that… huh? HUH???

14) worst thing ever happen to you?
Probably a miscarriage that I had at 17. If I put everything that’s happened to me up against that, it was still my shittiest time.

15) tell me one weird fact about you ?
I’m not weird. That’s weird in itself…

16) do you have any pets..
I own a freaken zoo.

17) what if i showed up at your house inexpectedly/unexpectedly/unexpected/unexpurgated?.
Depends on who you are, but if I’m not expecting anyone, I don’t even answer the door. Give me warning, sucker…

18) what was you first impression of me?
I was curious as to whether you were a real blonde, or not.

19) do you think clowns are cute or scary.?
I honestly don’t spend a lot of time thinking about clowns and when I do, cute and/or scary don’t come into it. I think people invest way too much time thinking up dumb shit about some guy in a costume.

20 ) if you could change one thing about how you look .. what would it be?
Nothing. I’m pretty damn special just the way I am.

21) would you be a crime partner or conscience?
Both. The bad in me will join in, but the good in me will constantly ask questions – what if we get caught? How much jail time will this get me, etc etc. Now pass me the gun and lets get this over with.

22). what colour eyes do you have ?.
blue/grey/green. They change colour all the time and at one stage, Geof and I were commenting on times of day, emotions, etc at the time of colour shift to see why they do it.

23) ever been ARRESTED?
Not yet.

24) BOTTLE OR CAN SODA?
Can. It’s cheaper.

25) if you won £10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Save some. Spend some.

26) what is your favourite place to hang out?
in the living room with Geof and the kids.

27) favourite thing to do in your spare time?
watch movies, snuggle with Geof, sleep.

28) do you swear a lot?
Fuck, yes.

29) biggest pet peeve?
Lack of honour and self responsibility. If you’re going to be an asshole, don’t point the finger at someone else or blame some stupid insignificant point in your past. Just admit that you know right from wrong, you know that your past is your responsibility to overcome and that you’re simply an asshole. It’s not hard.

30) in one word. how would you describe me?
Clever.

31) do you believe/appreciate romance?
Yes I do. It’s so much better when the other party is sincere, too.

32) do you believe in God.
No.

Eighth Grade

May 16, ‘08 3:27 PM

Yoinked from I can’t remember. Sorrrrry

1. Who were your best friends? Danka, Karen, Julia and Lara

2. What sports did you play? Everything!!! I loved sports.

3. Did you take your lunch? Only when mum made me. We’d all swap lunches if we got bored with what we had so that made “paper bagging it” tolerable.

4. It’s Friday night, where were you? At home with the best friends, or over their houses. Then it would be down to the local pizza parlour to harass boys.

5. Were you a party animal? No. Not really. I was 13 for god’s sake.

6. Were you in the “In Crowd”? Yes and no. They were kind of on the peripheral but I spent time with them. I had a boyfriend and I smoked, so I was “in” but I preferred hanging with the nerds.

7. Ever skip school? Never! My dad was a local cop and my mum worked in the shopping complex just down the street from the school. I always thought I’d get sprung.

8. Ever smoke? Oh hell yes. On the oval, behind the gym and in the girl’s toilets.

9. Were you a nerd? I was in a couple of the accelerated classes, so I was part nerd.
10. Did you get suspended/expelled? Not in 8th grade. In 10th grade I was got in trouble by Mr Stubbs. I was kissing my boyfriend on one of the school benches and Mr Stubbs (biggest bra strap playing pervert evuh) walked past and told us to separate. I was a smartass about it. Flashing him and calling him Stubbsy probably didn’t help either.

I would have been suspended in the 9th grade, had my teacher at the time sent me to the office directly after walking into the classroom following a strike, but he told me to sit down. Funny thing is I was one of the ring leaders

11. Can you sing the alma mater? We didn’t do that at our school.

12. Who was your favorite teacher? In 8th grade, it was Mr Maisey. Science teacher extraordinaire.

13. Favorite class? Science and English were my favourites.

14. What was your schools full name? Belmont Senior High School.

15. School mascot? God, Americans are so lame about this. We don’t do the mascot thing.

16. Did you go to the dances? When there were dances on, I went.

18. What do you remember most about Middle School? What the hell is middle school?

19. Favorite memory of your 8th grade year? Unplugging all the sirens during lunch break and getting an extended lunch period. Extra bonus was watching teachers running around with hand bells trying to herd us all in. Danka and I were so proud of ourselves.

20. Were you ever posted up on the 8th graders wall? Whatty?

21. Did you have a job your 8th grade year? No. There are child labour laws in order to protect children from working that young. In year 9, I worked as a volunteer for the RSPCA.

22. Who did you date? A guy named Troy, and then he moved to the Eastern States.

23. Where did you go most often for lunch? On the oval so I could smoke.

25. What did you do after graduation? Who graduates after 8th grade?

26. How was 8th grade bad good or horrible? I hated school but it wasn’t bad or horrible.

I Got Nuffin…

May 6, ‘08 9:20 AM

Yoinked from the Perfectly Pink one…

You Are 34% Pure

Pure? Sure, you’re about as pure as yellow snow. You’re a downright devil. But you’re also a pretty delightful one!

You Should Be a Cherry Redhead

Sexy, dramatic, but still sweetly feminine. Perfect for getting out of the hair color doldrums!

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant. Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

You Are 84% A Child of the 90s

Unsurprisingly, you remember almost everything about the 90s. Whether you were totally grunge, hip hop, or both… it’s all good!

You Are a Crossword Puzzle

You are well read, and you have a good head for remembering facts. You are a wordsmith. You have a way with words, and you’re very literate. You are a mysterious person who enjoys dropping little clues every now and then.

You Are Disturbingly Profound

You’re contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense. Taking time to figure out the meaning of life is a priority for you. Because you’re so introspective, you often react in ways that surprise people. No one can really understand how you are on the inside… and that disturbs them.

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